What In Jerry Lee Lewis Hell?

June 20, 2011 / Posted by:

No, this is not the wedding portrait of Gretchen from The Real Housewives of Orange County and a butch lezzie who got plastic surgery to look like Glenn Close. This is the wedding portrait of 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchinson (on the left) and his 16-year-old aspiring country singer bride Courtney Alexis Stodden (on the right). No wonder PedoBear was seen getting a fitting at Friar Tux, because you know he walked this little hillbilly Lolita down the aisle.

E! News says that Doug, who played Officer Percy in The Green Mile, Horace in Lost and Tooms in The X-Files, made Courtney his second wife on May 20th in Las Vegas. Courtney is a former beauty pageant turned country star wannabe. Doug and Courtney say that you can make the same look Annabella Sciorra made in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle when she found her daughter’s panties in Solomon’s tool wagon, but they are in love!

“We’re aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial. But we’re very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless.”

There’s a difference between “true love being ageless” and getting with a Toddlers & Tiaras reject who needs a parents permission slip to get married and can’t even buy her own ticket to an R-rated movie! Tooms has always been a pacifier fucking, baby doll humping, underwear licking, nasty, creepy motherfucker to me and Courtney looks 16 in Ali Lohan years, but still!

I bet Hugh Hefner wishes that he would’ve picked up Courtney in the playground instead of Doug, because she’s obviously the kind of ho who won’t run away from an old geezer in a groom suit.

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