Oprah Almost Killed Hugh Jackman!

December 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Sort of. Not really. But Hugh Jackman almost became a one-eyed Australian butt pirate today when a zip-lining stunt went terribly wrong! Hugh was supposed to make a grand entrance onto Oprah’s show at the Sydney Opera House (please don’t tell me they renamed it the Sydney Oprah House for her), but he hit the brakes too late and crashed into one of the lighting rigs. HUGH! You must protect THE FACE at all times! That’s your money. This is an Australian law! Get a front face helmet! And two nipple helmets too while you’re at it.

Here’s the footage of Hugh’s eye violently eye fucking a lighting rig. If you laugh, Hugh’s baby frenchie makes a sad with his little mouth.

People says that Hugh’s injury was as serious as a cum splatter to the eye. Paramedics patched up his small eye bruise and Hugh went on with the show. Hugh told the audience not to put the stunt team on execution row for the accident, because it was totally his fault: “I came down waving to everyone, looking over Sydney Harbor, saw my dad, the kids and you, went to pull the brake and then boing. Totally my bad.”

It’s a good thing that Hugh didn’t lose his eyeballs, because then he wouldn’t do that adorable “OW IT STINGS” thing when you get a little of your goodness on him during fucky times. But even if he did lose his eye, I’m sure Oprah would’ve given him a new one with diamonds in it. You get an eye, and you get an eye, and YOUUUUUU get an eye!

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