Sandra Lee Is Pissed She Didn’t Think Of This

November 11, 2010 / Posted by:

This is real recipe for MICROWAVED BACON on Food Network’s website from the advanced culinary mind of Rachael Ray also goes well with her recipe for hot water (Directions: Put porcelain mug under the red spout on your water cooler. Flip up. Fill mug to top. Flip down.) and pre-cut honey dew (Directions: Open package).

For being so simple, this recipe is a huge damn mess! But you know what’s not a mess? The comments! Comments that were howled by the Three Wolf Moon themselves. I guess nothing brings out hot sarcasm like the scent of burnt bacon stuck to a paper towel. Here’s a few, but you should really spend time with all of them:

Then, when I tried to drop the plate, and it wouldn’t let go of me, I started madly waving my arms around trying to get it off. In the middle of flailing, the plate flew off, and crashed through the large picture window in my kitchen. Between the time the window broke, and when I started flailing, the bacon also flew off and got stuck on the wall. The dog, being a dog, charged the wall-bacon, and began devouring everything that even remotely smelled of bacon, including largish chunks of drywall. Oh, crap, I hope it wasn’t that Chinese drywall that has the chemicals that cause cancer…
By cascalonginess on November 11, 2010

Tried this recipe last night. The bacon was great, but the paper towels tasted awful.
By LocalBoyMakesGoo on November 11, 2010

That’s not what “late night bacon” means in my house.
By Crazy Uncle Dan on November 09, 2010

Does anyone have a good recipe for Banana? I typically take one from the bunch, peel it, discard the peed and eat it. But I feel like I am missing something. Any recipe for Orange would be helpful too.
By runge2002_730663 on November 09, 2010

I don’t stay up very late. Can you post a recipe for early morning bacon? Also I’m new to the whole microwave thing. Do you have a recipe for microwave popcorn? The bag says to stop when the interval between pops is 2-3 seconds, but the pops always happen too fast for me to start counting.
By sammy_hagar_pork_n_b on November 10, 2010

via Food Network Humor (Thanks Kel)

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