Come On Get Drunky

Keef Partridge (born name: David Bruce Cassidy) was thrown into a different kind of bus (aka THE PADDYWAGON) in Florida last night after the cops noticed that his Mercedes was swerving all over the place on the turnpike. They pulled him over and found a half empy bottle of bourbon in the back seat. PUT THE BLAME ON THAT GINGE DANNY! No, David’s story to the cops was that he only had a glass of wine at lunch and swallowed a Vicodin hours before he got busted.

The cops still made David blow twice into a breathalyzer and the numbers 0.139 and 0.141 came up. Those numbers translated into BITCH BOOM BYE and David was taken down to the station for booking. You know who else is going to get a BITCH BOOM BYE today? My mom’s boss after she hears about this mess. This is definitely a reason for her to call in sad.

The original Justin Bieber put his finger on the ink, flat lined with his mouth for the camera and then was released a few hours later on $350 bond. But it’s not over!

David will fight the DUI charges. David tells TMZ that the breathalyzer is telling nothing but lies, because there’s no way he was plastered. David admits to popping a V and said he was kind of down in the shit from attending a funeral earlier in the day. David’s rep went on to say, “He would never jeopardize anyone on the road and he would not have been driving had he not had to go to a funeral … he’s never been arrested in his life before for anything.”

For my mom’s sake, I will choose to believe David’s bullshit excuse. I am even going to ignore the fact that I can practically smell the party blowing out of his alien eye nostrils. Or is it gaping Voldemort nostrils?