Marky Mark Doesn’t Want To Talk About This

Marky Mark still really wants people to see him as Mark Wahlberg, serious Oscar-nominated thespian, instead of the hot piece who is responsible for awakening the genitals of a thousand newbie gays in the 90s. This is Marky Mark’s greatest achievement in his professional life and he should pull down his pants and embrace it! But nooooo, Marky still gets all sorts of assholey in the face when somebody brings it up. Drew Barrymore knows all about this.

During a scene in her new movie Going the Distance, Drew phone fucks with Justin Long while thinking about Marky Mark’s ads for Calvin Klein chonies. When Drew ran into Marky Mark recently, she told him all about the scene and instead of thanking her for slobbering over his dick, he acted like a giant one. Drew told Popeater, “Oh my God, I did tell him that. I ran into him at an awards show and I told him I was just talking about how hot you are in your underwear. Who would not be excited about that? He’s a very nice guy, and I have had other conversations with him that went much better than that.”

Justin Long, who was also there, defended Marky, “It didn’t go over great … In [Wahlberg’s] defense, it’s a strange thing to bring up. I don’t think he was prepared for it.”

Marky Mark takes shit way too seriously. Why does he have to ruin all the beautiful and touching moments we spent together in my wet dreams back in the day? Why does he have to spit (and not in a sexy) on our fake love? Drew is right. There’s no need for Marky to turn on the CUNT switch when a crazy gay runs up to him in an East Village deli to ask him to sign the cum stain on his old Calvin Klein ad. I mean, I asked politely and everything! Fuck!

Here’s Drew with her dog friend in NYC last night.