Chelsea Handler Might Have A Sex Tape

April 29, 2010 / Posted by:

Radar says that they have a 10-year-old sex tape starring Chelsea Handler in their sticky hands. Decide for yourself how their hands got sticky. HOWEVER, Chelsea tried to ruin Radar’s orgasm on her show last night by saying the “sex tape” is anything but. Chelsea swears she made it ten years ago as a funny skit for her comedy reel. But Radar is still standing by their story.

Moisturize your ass with some vodka-flavored lube (please tell me such a thing exists) and read their description of the supposed fuck tape:

The tape, which was made nearly a decade ago after Chelsea moved to Los Angeles starts out with Chelsea turning on the camera in what appears to be her apartment. During the first part of the tape, Chelsea is fully clothed in her work uniform. She begins by introducing herself by name before going into a stand-up routine before suddenly cutting to Chelsea and her male partner engaging in an explicit sex act.

Chelsea, who is on all fours on a bed is naked and at several times during the filming she looks directly at the camera. Her breasts are bare and swinging during the sex act. At the end of the “performance”, Chelsea’s partner speaks in a clear British accent, asking, “Did we get the (bleep) shot?” Chelsea looks into the camera and smiles at this point. Then the tape immediately cuts back into Chelsea continuing her stand-up routine in her apartment.

From what saw, it’s definitely not a “stand up” comedy bit, and if it’s a routine, it’s the most X-rated routine ever performed!

Breasts swinging around? Now who’s got the long boobs, Chelsea?!

I know some of you sucio fucks out there are disappointed that Chelsea’s co-star is not her beloved porn nugget Chuey. Wipe the images of an armadillo humping a piece of turkey jerky from your mind.

A tape featuring Chelsea getting her Pikachu pounded will always be classified as a comedy. You will never find it in the porn section. So Chelsea is telling the truth no matter what. Actually, let me correct myself. A Chelsea Handler fuck tape will always be classified as horror. There, that makes more sense.

Here’s Chelsea’s response to Radar:

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