Another Baby For Matt Damon

April 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Matt Damon’s wife Luciana, a former cocktail waitress and now the RICHEST WOMAN ALIVE (or something like that), has come down with another case of the babies for the fourth time. Matt’s rep told UsWeekly that everyone in the Damon household is excited. Yes, anticipating the sweet and sour scent of wet newborn caca is really exciting.

Matt and Luciana have a 3-year-old Isabella and a 21-month-old Gia. Luciana has an 11-year-old, Alexia, daughter from a previous dude.

I honestly thought Luciana already a tenant in her womb. She’s like permanently pregnant. And since she’s knocked up, that means Jennifer Garner isn’t far behind. Matt and Ben’s sperm fishes are synchronized.

And since Matt and Luciana might be hoping for boy, I decided to visit my favorite treasure trove of wisdom to see what others had to say about conceiving a dude. This is what someone said:

Theoretically, boy sperm is lighter than girl sperm and they swim faster, so u can try having him ejacuate as close to the cervix as possible, i would reccomend doggy style. l0l this isnt gonna guarantee you a boy but hey no harm in trying.

Thank the fuck I’m not a woman (keep your lips shut!), because I would’ve popped out three dozen boys by now.

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