Dora The Sexplorer

March 6, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

Dora the Explorer got a hold of some illegal Fen-phen, lost a little baby chunk, got some extensions and moved to the big city to pursue her dreams of being the biggest prostitot in the game. Mattel and Nickelodeon released this teaser image of what the new Dora is going to look like. The new whory Dora will make her big debut in the fall. I’m sure her new implants would have healed by then.

The pimps of Dora said they gave her a newer tween look, so that she can grow up with her preschool fans. One of her pimps at Mattel told the NYDN, “Girls really identify with Dora and we knew that girls would love to have their friend Dora grow up with them, and experience the new things that they were going through themselves.”

Dora’s new foray into skankdom has parents all fucking mad. They think Dora should stay young and innocent, because that’s why girls like her ass. One parent said, “If the Dora we knew grew up, she wouldn’t be a fashion icon or a shopaholic. She’d develop her map reading skills and imagine the places she could go. It’s such a sell out of Dora, of all girls.”

I say, whatever to Dora growing up, but she should really go see a doctor. She might have some kind of mutant growth disease, because bitch’s head takes up half her body! This is some Elephant Man shit. How is Dora supposed to work the ho stroll if her big ass head keeps causing her to topple over?

Tags: Gross, Hot Slut of the Day, I Don't Like Jokes

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: [email protected]