The Moment Has Arrived

If you were on the west coast last night, you most likely heard the sound of a thousand high-pitched screams. You probably shrugged it off, thinking it was just the voices in your head shrieking to get out. Naw, it wasn’t the voices in your head this time. It was the sound coming from the mob of fangirls busting their vocal chords and bursting ear drums at the “Twilight” premiere in Los Angeles last night. Fangirls like the hot (literally) bitch above waited overnight just so they could catch a quick glimpse of the sparkly stars. I think sanitation workers are still cleaning up all the panty pudding left on the street.

The screams even flattened Robert Pattinson’s magical hair! The unicorns had to find another forest to frolick in. Robert told MTV News that he’s gotten used to insane girls screaming at him. In fact, he’s gone deaf. He said, “I left my brain at the door. It’s completely insane. You never expect it. … I’m completely deaf!” No, seriously. He wasn’t joking. He’s really deaf.

Robert went on to tell a story about a group of girls who scratched their necks for him. “There were some girls who had scratched … the side of their necks so [they were] freshly bleeding when they came up to get a signature. They were like, ‘We did this for you.’ I didn’t know what to say. ‘Um, thanks guys?’”

Um…they should have had men in white coats, carrying straitjackets at the premiere, just in case. Actually, I shouldn’t make fun. If I ever saw that sexy piece Eric Northman from “True Blood” in person, I’d probably cut my neck and scream, “Make me! Make Me! Be my fucking maker! I’ll lay in a dirt ditch and everything! MAKE ME!”