David Duchovny Really Loves Porn
David Duchovny is currently cooling his genitals in rehab because he’s addicted to porn. On Thursday, David’s rep announced that he checked into a facility to receive treatment for sex addiction. A friend tells Fox News that David never cheated on Tea Leoni unless cyber fucking counts as cheating. David has “The Peter Cook Disease.” He loves to surf and stroke.
The friend said that David spends hours rubbing his dick raw while browsing chat rooms and looking at internet porn. Quick! Check all the responses from your Craigslist “Casual Encounters” ad (I know you have one). You might have gotten a response from Agent Mulder! Even better, Mulder might have knocked one off to your picture. You should be proud.
And didn’t Agent Mulder have a thing about porn on “The X-Files“? David! Don’t take your work home with you.
David’s friend also said that he only announced he was in rehab for sex addiction because a patient at the clinic he’s in was about to leak the story to the press. David “beat” him to the punch. And then he beat it some more. And some more. And a little more.