The NYC premiere for Ocean’s 8 was held last night, and I know it would be appropriate to say Rihanna stole the show at a premiere for a heist movie. But that would be wrong. Rihanna looks like she doesn’t have to steal anything. She looks like the type of rich woman that walks into a jewelry store and the manager immediately whips out the keys to the most expensive diamond cases with cartoon “ka-ching” commission dollars in their eyes. All that’s missing is a white poodle named Miss Precious and a silk hanky placed on her theater seat by a butler named Alfred P. Snobworth.
I now understand why Rihanna might break up with her ultra-rich boyfriend; why be with someone who is merely worth billions when you can look like billions. In this case, I’m treating the essence of glamour as if it were USDs, and I believe I did an accurate conversion.
Here’s more of Rihanna and the rest of the Ocean’s 8 crowd, like Cate Blanchett who appears to be auditioning for a David Bowie tribute band, and Sarah Paulson giving you SAT-prep hi-liter realness.