Hot Slut Of The Day!
The cheetah who caused the chonies of an American man to fill with several loads of caca, his bowels, his lungs and all of his other internal organs during a safari in Tanzania!
The thing about driving through a land where wild animals roam is that sometimes those wild animals get bored with singing The Circle of Life over their future king being born (The Lion King WAS a documentary), and decide to play with those weird looking moving metal box things (read: cars) and those weirder looking mostly-hairless dwarf giraffes (read: humans). Britton Hayes of Seattle found this out the OHFUCKINGSHIT way during a safari in the Gol Kopjes of the Serengeti.
Britton’s mom is an anchor for KOMO NewsRadio, so he gave the station footage of his unplanned date with a curious wild pussy. Britton said that while driving along, they came across many cheetahs and decided to stop. Seeing all those cheetahs isn’t that weird since Gol Kopjes has the highest concentration of cheetahs on the planet. The cheetahs were like, “The fuck is that?”, over the SUV they were riding in and got close to it. They didn’t drive away because they didn’t want to startle the cheetahs.
Britton and his group were so focused on a cheetah on the hood of the SUV that they didn’t notice that another cheetah crawled into the vehicle with them. Britton didn’t spit out, “This ain’t your Uber, girl,” to the cheetah. Instead, he was told by his guide to do what I do every time my family member who asks everyone for money walks into a family party: don’t make eye contact and stay still. The cheetah tried to sniff them, but eventually got bored and strolled away with the other cheetahs. Britton told KOMO that he had to get into the zone to avoid freaking all the way out.
“Honestly, it was probably one of the scariest moments of my life while it was happening. I felt like I had to clear my mind of any thoughts because from everything you’re told about predators like that, they can sense fear and any sort of discomfort you’re feeling and they’ll react accordingly. I wanted to be as calm and as still as possible to avoid a bad outcome.”
Britton can laugh about it now. Although, it’s probably hard for him to laugh since his throat fell out of his ass during this cheetah encounter:
In my mind, that cheetah knew what they were doing and were like, “Hey, bitch, have you ever seen one of those humans shit themselves? Grab the popcorn and watch this.”
Pic: KOMO