Sean Penn Wrote A Really Dumb #MeToo Poem

March 28, 2018 / Posted by:

Dear readers, I’m sorry for insulting your intelligence by specifically stating that the poem is dumb, let alone really dumb. It’s Sean Penn. I’m sure you would have assumed a poem written by alleged wife beater Sean Penn about the #MeToo movement would be a misguided, tone-deaf mess without me telling you. Forgive me. With that being said, onto Sean Penn’s poem.

According to The Huffington Post, one of the many spores of nonsense located within Sean Penn’s new book, Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff, is a loose poem about the #MeToo movement. It’s six pages long and serves as an epilogue to the book. I haven’t heard Sean Penn speak about the #MeToo or Time’s Up movements before. As it turns out, his thoughts are best summed up in a poem that answers the question: “But what if T.S. Eliot was kind of a prick?” He implies a defense of Louis C.K. and Charlie Rose, sarcastically hates on TIME magazine’s Person of the Year issue, and side-eyes women who adopted the term “me too” to tell their stories. Here’s an excerpt:

Though warrior women
Bravely walk the walk,
Derivatives of disproportion
Draw heinous hypocrites
To their flock

Where did all the laughs go?
Are you out there, Louis C.K.?
Once crucial conversations
Kept us on our toes;
Was it really in our interest
To trample Charlie Rose?
And what’s with this ‘Me Too’?
This infantilizing term of the day…
Is this a toddler’s crusade?
Reducing rape, slut-shaming, and suffrage to reckless child’s play?
A platform for accusation impunity?
Due process has lost its sheen?
But, fuck it, what me worry?
I’m a hero,
To Time Magazine!

I think the most shocking thing about this poem is that a friend of Mel Gibson calls them women, and not females. But seriously, he really lost me when I read the words “What, me worry?“. I never, ever thought I’d say such words but: excuse you Sean Penn, Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman is too good to be associated with such garbage.


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