Because We Haven’t Been Through Enough, A 24-Hour Taylor Swift Channel Is Coming

November 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Since AT&T acquired both DIRECTV and Time-Warner, it’s clear that they’re plotting domination in the U.S. and it looks like part of their domination plan includes bringing us, the people, to our knees and subduing our senses. And their new all Taylor Swift channel is going to do just that.

Last month, the human reincarnation of Julie the Talking Doll announced that she signed a multi-year mega-deal with AT&T. Tay Tay will headline DIRECTV’s pre-Super Bowl party in February, and yesterday, AT&T announced that she is getting her own channel. Soon, Animal Planet and The National Geographic Channel won’t be the only TV channels where you can see a snake in action. The brand-new channel called Taylor Swift NOW (more like, “Taylor Swift NO!“) will stream 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on AT&T’s streaming service DIRECTV Now.

Billboard says that DIRECTV Now will launch tomorrow and the monthly subscription price starts at $35. There isn’t a release date for Taylor Swift NOW, but AT&T will drop previews for that mess on social media during the next few weeks. Tay Tay TV will show original content like never-before-seen concerts and behind-the-scenes footage. AT&T introduced Tay Tay TV yesterday in a launch event for DIRECTV Now. They also tweeted this:

Reese Witherspoon will also head up a channel called Hello Sunshine.

With the way that things have been going, I’m sure that in the future, Overlord Trump will declare that the only channels we’ll be able to watch will be Trump TV and Tay Tay TV. But until then, I’m sure Tay Tay TV will be the #1 channel in the following places: her houses, her squad members’ houses, the Ninth Circle and torture camps.


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