Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Ivan, a 21-year-old yodeling adonis from Belarus who wants to perform ass crack-out naked with wolves at Eurovision!

If a trick wants to stand out at Eurovision, they sometimes have to reach for the fuckery stars and really bring the foolery. Well, Ivan may find himself reaching for his dick dangling out of a wolf’s mouth after she mistakes it for a sausage while he’s performing next to her naked. Eurovision, the singing competition where countries in Europe bring your acid trips to life, is taking place in Stockholm, Sweden next month and if Belarus gets their wish, they will fart up some Dancing Singing With Wolves ridiculousness onto the stage.

The BBC says that Tarzan’s Belarusian second cousin twice removed at the dry bar will sing a song called “Help You Fly” at Eurovision, and he’s been rehearsing his planned performance with real wolves, one of which is named Shakira. Ivan says that he’s performing in his all-natural state next to a wild animal, because he wants to give the audience a heaping serving of nature. No, he wants to give the audience a heaping serving of some STUNT QUEEN stunt shit. Because there’s nothing natural about putting your bare peen next to an animal with chomping teeth who may bite at your ass to stop you from singing a rejected Daughtry song into her poor years.

Here’s some clips from Ivan’s rehearsals with the wolf friends, and the BBC claims that the wolves biting at him is part of the act…. This is going to end well.

Actually it may end before it really starts. Eurovision doesn’t let animals perform on stage. A rep for Eurovision also said that it’s a family-friendly show and they don’t think that twink Fabio performing in the nude is appropriate. Eurovision is pretty much one-long PSA that endorses LSD and acid use, but yet they hit the “THINK OF THE CHILDREN” button over nakedness. Okay…

So this is most likely just a PR move to promote Belarus’ entry, and I’m all for it. Any stunt that involves peen is a stunt that works for me. Although, I wish they would’ve released the un-blurred footage of his bits from rehearsals before Shakira gets hungry for a snack and bites at ’em.

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