Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 4, 2015 / Posted by:

The shirtless mess who had to be rescued by the cops after he got stuck in a basketball hoop!

Monday is here again to screw with everybody’s emotions and soul, so here’s the perfect visual metaphor for Monday. Because on Mondays, aren’t we all just a hammer-wielding shirtless crazy dude stuck in a basketball hoop?

KOMO News (via Arbroath) says that last Friday, Seattle police were called to Cal Anderson Park on Capitol Hill to rescue a topless dude from the basketball hoop that wouldn’t let him go. When the police got there, he was hanging by his foot and while trying to get him down, his head got caught too. The Fire Department were called in after 10 minutes of the dude flailing around and officers finally climbed up a ladder and cut him out of the net. The question “BUT  HOW?” hasn’t been answered yet. KOMO doesn’t know how he got stuck in there.

Um, were there reports of strong winds in Florida last week? Because I wouldn’t be surprised if this dude was carried West from his homeland of Florida by a strong wind and he eventually landed in a basketball hoop in Seattle. Because this dude is the epitome of Florida. He should be declared Florida’s Ambassador in Washington.

The Seattle PD says that they haven’t hit the dude with any charges yet, but they may charge him with property destruction.

Here’s the 7 and a half minute-long video from a news helicopter (because THIS IS NEWS) that shows a bunch of police officers standing around while watching the shirtless dude flail around like a piñata full of fuckery:

When I was a little kid, my cousins and I were playing in the backyard and one of them climbed a tall tree and couldn’t get back down. She said she was too scared to climb down. We tried to get her down with a ladder, but that didn’t work. So finally one of my other cousins went to get my abuelita who was the only adult home. When my abuelita came out of the house with a look on her face that clearly said, “You’re interrupting my novella,,” my little cousin climbed down that tree like a squirrel on meth. So it doesn’t take over a dozen police officers and a Fire Department ladder to get down a stuck brat. They should’ve just called in an angry abuelita.

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