When JLo and Casper the Douchey Gold Digger broke up, nearly everyone broke up with their pieces, because if an egomaniac and Frogger’s maybe cheating, glory hole-trolling cousin can’t make it, who can?! Well, it turns out they can make, because they’ve been making it this entire time. That’s what TMZ says anyway. When JLo said that she’s happy to be single, what she really meant is that she’s a STUNT QUEEN who is happy to be tricking us all. Apparently, JLo never stopped doing the low-rent KFed and only said that to create “buzz” for that The Boy Next Door movie. Beyonce just bowed down to JLo and her shameless PR hustle.
TMZ says that JLo and Casper did break up last June, but they got back together a few weeks later. JLo didn’t say anything and pretended like they were done, because she and the producers of The Boy Next Door felt like they’d sell more tickets if everyone thought she was getting on her co-star Ryan Guzman. She also had a book about love she needed to whore out. For the past few months, they’ve been trying to keep it on the down low, but I guess they’re over that, because they kissed in front of the paps the other day. The whole “single for press” thing also worked for Casper, because he wanted to look single while shooting a UFC fighter movie nobody’s going to watch.
JLo had it right when she was lying about being with Casper Smart and she should’ve kept lying. I get that JLo may want to be with a piece she can boss around, but why Casper’s buff Jon Cryer-looking ass? Were there not better options at Boy Toys ‘R Us? Whatever, I guess the coochie wants what the coochie wants. Or maybe… JLo was trying to cross a bridge one day and she ran into Casper who was guarding it. When Casper asked her to solve a riddle, she got it wrong, which put a curse on her and she’s been tied to him ever since! Blink twice if I’m right, JLo.