Alley Kats, the feral stray cat toys from (when else) the 80s!
For some reason, animal collecting was all the rage for kids in the 80s. First you went to the pound and adopted a puppy. Then when you realized puppies were too much damn work, you went back to the pound and adopted a couple pur-r-r-ies. Eventually someone was like “But what if we cut out the middle man and gave kids the experience of finding a cat on their own?” Enter the Alley Kats, the purrrr-fect playmate! Because who wouldn’t want to play with something they found digging through their trash or loudly fucking on the hood of their car at 3am?
Alley Kats were stuffed cats that looked just like REAL alley cats, aka mangy as hell! Their whiskers were jacked and tangly, their fur looked like they had been sleeping on a pile of greasy pizza boxes, and they had that same crazy look in their eyes that a cat gets when it sees a can of tuna. Also, weird penis noses for some reason? Needless to say, I wanted one SO badly, but I never got one. DUH! What kind of adult would buy a child a stuffed animal that looks like it smells like piss and give them fleas?? Jesus, even the Alley Kats butt-tag was all kinds of NO:
You can’t tell me that doesn’t look like a stray cat staring at you while taking a shit (just like a REAL cat!)