Bruce Jenner Is Dating Pimp Mama Kris’ Best Friend

October 17, 2014 / Posted by:

I see that Pimp Mama Kris came up with a new storyline for her reality shit show.

When Pimp Mama Kris filed for divorce from the face of Lana Del Rey’s future known as Bruce Jenner, I expected him to pack up his Kit N Caboodle, slide into his convertible, check his lip gloss situation in the rearview mirror, put on his orange aviators, blast Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’,” hit the gas and never ever look back. But that didn’t happen, because it looks like Pimp Mama Kris still has her devil claws wrapped around his strawberry shampoo-scented mane of luscious glamour.

Both TMZ and People threw up posts today claiming that Bruce is pressing his pool noodle lips onto the face of PMK’s best friend and former assistant Ronda Kamihira. A sores (typo and it stays) tells TMZ that Ronda is a 51-year-old divorced mother of 2 and she’s been friends with the Jenners for years and years. Ronda lives in the same neighborhood as Bruce and PMK and the two families have gone on vacation and spent holidays together. The “source” also says that Ronda is the Taylor Swift to PMK’s Karlie Kloss, because she’s been Single White Female-ing PMK. Family members say that it seems like Ronda wants to become PMK. Let me guess, the source (Hi, PMK) also went on to say, “But really, who can blame Ronda? Kris Jenner is thee most naturally beautiful, sexy, intelligent and caring women in the world. I think it’s weird that every woman isn’t try to be her! Not now, Satan. Now now. I’m on the phone with TMZ. I’ll give you a sacrifice later.

People’s source says that PMK is “devastated “and can’t believe that her friend of 20 years and her ex-husband would betray her like this.

There are not enough Bitch, Pleases in the world for me to properly react to this story. This is probably another fake storyline cooked up by PMK. The only way PMK would be genuinely devastated and heartbroken about something is if someone burned a $100 bill in front of her. If her house caught on fire when she wasn’t home, the first think she’d ask after finding out is, “Did my safe full of money make it out okay?” In fact, that’s probably how the producers of Keeping Up with the Kardashians are going to bring the raw emotion out of PMK while shooting the scene where she finds out that Bruce is dating her friend. A producer is going to hold a gun to a stack of hundreds  in front of her and the tears are just going to pore out of PMK’s pulled face. She’s going to win a special Emmy for that performance.

E! says that TMZ and People are wrong and Bruce and Ronda are just friends. I hope E! is right, because Bruce needs to get away from PMK and dating her friend is not getting away from her. Bruce should run off and become a counselor at Camp Camellia or something.

Pics: Pacific Coast News

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