Presenting Taylor Swift’s “Family Portrait”

July 6, 2014 / Posted by:

I know, I would’ve guessed that Taylor Swift’s “family portrait” would’ve ben her posing with her cats, her collection of yarn dolls and the cardboard cutouts of all the dudes she’s stalked. But instead, Taylor Swift’s family portrait, which was taken at her Rhode Island beach house over the weekend, is filled with A-listers (see: Emma Stone), E-listers (see: Jaime King) and never-was-on-any-listers (see: Jessica Snooze-ar from Gossip Girl). After they took this picture, they got drunk on the bottle of plum wine Taylor stole from her parent’s liquor cabinet, crank called John Mayer, practiced kissing on each other’s hands and played “Light As A Feather, Stiff As Board.”

And in that sea of mostly pretty mostly white girls who probably smell like Victoria’s Secret fruit mist is Lena Dunham looking like the creepy 10-year-old little shithead brother who sneaks into the basement during his older sister’s slumber party to watch the girls sleep, steal their panties, smell their hair and fart in their duffel bags.

via Twatter

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