Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 17, 2014 / Posted by:

Purin, the super beagle from Japan who’s bigger than Snoopy and who skateboarded, lip-synched, skipped and swished her way into the hearts of many and is about to become TV’s biggest bitch.

If you’re a struggling actor who went to theater school, spent most of your life honing your craft and shit and the only audition you can get is to be a background extra on an episode of America’s greatest scripted tragic comedy Chrisley Knows Best, then I’m sorry to tell you that it would’ve all been easier if you were just born a beagle from Japan. Because this beagle from Japan can’t even squat out a shit without some TV network begging her to do a show for them.

The Daily Mail says that Purin’s human Makoto Kumagai has been inunfuckingdated with TV and commercial offers from all over the world. Those offers didn’t just magically land in Purin’s lap. She paid her dues on YouTube by starring in video after video of her skateboarding (I hope she gets the lead in a reboot of Gleaming The Cube), playing volleyball and doing handstands. Makoto’s says she’s got an agent now and is booking jobs left and right like her last name is Lawrence and she fell twice at the Oscars.

“She has become famous all over the world and regularly have people asking her to be in an advert, on their TV show or compete in a talent contest. She is very talented and sweet and thoroughly entertains people.”

Here in America, we give TV shows to talentless, useless bitches who have the personalities of wet paint on a piece of Styrofoam and in Japan they still give TV shows to bitches, but bitches with charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. Japan: STILL showing us how it’s done.

Purin’s talent and skills aren’t only physical. Purin is also a true creative artist. Here she is lip-synching into a Hello Kitty mic. You will grasp at your heart place when she coyly turns her head around at the beginning and then lip-synchs into the mic at exactly the right time. A true show woman!

Bitch lip-synchs better than Brit Brit! Bad example, I know, because a mayfly lip-synchs better than Brit Brit. Purin lip-synchs better than Beyonce! Purin, sashay you stay.

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