Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 5, 2014 / Posted by:

Indian Earth powder, the only makeup, besides a Sharpie and Lip Smackers, you need!

Yesterday on Twitter, Margaret Cho asked if anybody remembers this shit from the 1970s and 1980s that came in a clay pot, was multi-use and had something to do with the Earth. I immediately knew what she was talking about, because I think my mom still has that crap in a Chinese Laundry shoe box with her other makeup from the past in the back of a bathroom cabinet. Indian Earth is the Dr. Bronner’s of beauty and you can still buy it today, but it was everywhere in the early 80s. It’s this powder stuff that you can use as a bronzer, nail polish, eye liner, lip liner, blush, eye shadow and a million more things.

If you don’t feel like boning your piece for some reason and you lie to them and tell them you’re on the rag, you can mix Indian Earth with some ketchup, dip your tampon in it and throw it in the trash as proof! If you’re Lindsay Lohan and are sick of everyone knowing you stuck your nose in the coke jar because bright white granules are always stuck to your nostrils, cut your coke with a little Indian Earth so the granules match your orange skin and blend in. If you want to shit like Liberace for a day, eat a whole clay pot full of Indian Earth and your caca logs will come out sparkly and gilded. The list goes on and on. Indian Earth can be used for anything and everything.

Indian Earth is a true gift and every pot should come with a note that reads, “You’re welcome AGAIN, bitches – Native Americans and the Earth.”

Pic: The Vermont Country Store

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