Open Post: Hosted By The Delicate Polish Pearl That Is Joanna Krupa

January 26, 2014 / Posted by:

As animal control tried to catch the dozens of alley cats who went crazy and crashed OK! Magazine’s pre-Grammy party in L.A., guests all asked themselves, “Why does it smell like a ten-week old Filet O’Fish wrapped in desperation?” They got their answer when demure swan Joanna Krupa sashayed onto the red carpet in a Dress For Less version of Jaimie Alexander’s stunning Showgirls poster gown. Yes, hundreds of guests were treated at the scene for stank puss inhalation, but that’s a very small price to pay for getting to take in the perfect portrait of immaculate taste and purified sophistication. Because of all these low level tramps wearing peek-a-poon dresses, all of us should invest in twat tape. Oh what am I saying? They want everyone to see their smilin’ snatches.

This OP is going up early, because I went away for the weekend and am driving back today and wanted this up before all the Grammy fuckery starts. I should be home in time to throw up some Grammy shit. That’s if my eyes haven’t rolled out of my head after watching Queen Latifah officiate a mass wedding while Macklemore and Madge perform “Same Love.” I really hope that at the end of that stunt, Queen Latifah announces, “And now I declare all of you married and I also declare that I love pussay!


Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >