Open Post: Hosted By The Delicate Polish Pearl That Is Joanna Krupa

January 26, 2014 / Posted by:

As animal control tried to catch the dozens of alley cats who went crazy and crashed OK! Magazine’s pre-Grammy party in L.A., guests all asked themselves, “Why does it smell like a ten-week old Filet O’Fish wrapped in desperation?” They got their answer when demure swan Joanna Krupa sashayed onto the red carpet in a Dress For Less version of Jaimie Alexander’s stunning Showgirls poster gown. Yes, hundreds of guests were treated at the scene for stank puss inhalation, but that’s a very small price to pay for getting to take in the perfect portrait of immaculate taste and purified sophistication. Because of all these low level tramps wearing peek-a-poon dresses, all of us should invest in twat tape. Oh what am I saying? They want everyone to see their smilin’ snatches.

This OP is going up early, because I went away for the weekend and am driving back today and wanted this up before all the Grammy fuckery starts. I should be home in time to throw up some Grammy shit. That’s if my eyes haven’t rolled out of my head after watching Queen Latifah officiate a mass wedding while Macklemore and Madge perform “Same Love.” I really hope that at the end of that stunt, Queen Latifah announces, “And now I declare all of you married and I also declare that I love pussay!


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