To me, all newborn babies look a 100-year-old sea turtle doing an impersonation of an angry alien, but apparently Kanye and Kim Kardashian’s newest bundle of joy money looks just like her mommy. The official voice of the Kardashians, E!, says that a source (yes, E! is acting like their source’s name doesn’t rhyme with Gimp Llama Piss) told them that Kimye’s baby girl has dark hair and a face like Kim’s. I know, can you believe that baby has dark hair? I really thought she would inherit Kanye’s naturally blond locks. And for Baby Kimye’s sake, I really hope she has Kim’s original face and not Kim’s current Shrinky Dink cat face. The Botox could’ve leaked down into the womb, so who knows….
E!’s source also says that Baby Kimye weighed in at only 5 pounds, which isn’t surprising since she came 5 weeks early. Pimp Mama Kris is probably in the middle of selling the release of her newest kash kow’s name to the highest bidder so who knows how long before we know her name. But the source says that Kim told her friends and family that her daughter’s name will start with a K.
On Twitter, Facebook and everywhere else, people are throwing out all sorts of K names and any one of their asses could be right. I won’t be surprised if they name that poor child Klassee Khrist Kardashian West. I won’t be surprised if they name her Khaleesi Riccarda or Kiddy Kat or Kween Kwassant or Kris Jr. or anything else. But seriously, they’re probably going to name her Kraft Kleenex since Kraft and Kleenex will pay Pimp Mama Kris millions to do so. Poor Kraft Kleenex Kardashian.