And It Begins
Yes, we all knew this was coming. Brace yourselves for POST after POST about the love child of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West from this and every other blog for the foreseeable future. Excuse me for a second, I have a serious case of the barfs for some reason. Hold it down girlfriend, you don't want to waste delicious booze on this trash. Swallow HARD, breathe, and... As Michael K told us all early this morning, Kanye told the world that yes the Antichrist baking in Hell Kim's oven. In the video above you can see Kanye announcing their joy and our pain to the world.
TMZ says that the announcement came as a complete surprise to Kim, who thought they had planned to keep it a secret until she started showing, and she cried tears of joy as she sat in the audience with Satan her mom, her BFF, and several of Kanye's family members. I read that as "Kim cried angry tears that Kanye and his big fat mouth just cost her a huge check from E! for the announcement" and smiled. See? Every cloud has a silver lining, no matter how dark and foreboding.
Kim's official statement about it is on Celebitchy. She said:
It’s true!! Kanye and I are expecting a baby. We feel so blessed and lucky and wish that in addition to both of our families, his mom and my dad could be here to celebrate this special time with us. Looking forward to great new beginnings in 2013 and to starting a family. Happy New Year!!! Xo
Um Kim, before that new beginning you may want to do an ending, like I don't know, maybe getting a divorce from your current husband Kris what's-his-name. Just saying. But that wouldn't be tacky as fuck, so yeah let's not expect too much.
TMZ also reports that Kim is getting PAID 6 figures (dontpuke dontpuke dontpuke) to show up for the New Year's Eve bash at 1 Oak on the Las Vegas strip tonight and she's not going to let a little case of the babies stand in her way of getting that cash. As much as I would love to go all Judge Judy and slam a gavel down on her face for partaking in the sweet nectar with a brat in her belly, she's never been known as a drinker so that's probably not an issue. Can I hammer her anyway, please?? Just once. So anyway, for all of you planning to attend the festivities at 1 Oak tonight, get your seat early since Kim's double wide trailer ass will take about 100 of them once she shows up.
ty MK (I think) for the video!
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No lipo or diet pills while preggers!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Didn't she have ribs remove? Good luck carrying a baby to term.
Submitted by luvmehateme on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 2:05am.
Excellent summary of 2013 gossip headlines.
I hope that she names her new Pea Pod line Ka$h Kow.
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The possible baby names are endless:
Kweenie
Kimye
Knouveau Richee
Kuntye
Ivy Blue Karter
Kaching!
I wonder if they'll insist that the name is written in all KAPS so Kanye can type it.
Submitted by pandapants84 on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 9:26pm.
Is that a typical example of your thoughts on film and television?
Btw, dead and buried over point this guy makes. He pretty much nails every thing that's wrong with the KKK baby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et2GvtC6ldw
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
I bet she was soooo jealous of how much attention Kourtney got this year with her baby and baby daddy drama. Can't understand people who marry or have children with people they still barely know. She will never learn.
Check out my thoughts on film and television www.amandalovesmovies.com
I predict the baby name will be Khaki Kelp. Kimmy most likely is using the same rent-a womb service as Bouncy.
Gifts should be made to plastic surgeons for that poor child, especially if a girl. :(
^^^^^^^^^^
"That's what you said a week ago in Guadalajara." - Honey West
Submitted by toxicsparkles: "Ok, i never thought i'd say this but i'd really really like an Angelina or Jennifer Aniston to announce a pregnancy like now. Someone that you know will take all the attention away from these two."
Lohan!!!
KaDONkDA Robabrokenigga Kardashianye West
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by luvmehateme on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 2:05am.
Submitted by Who Datt on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:59pm.
Then later...
KIm's life as a Single MOM!!!
Kim's Post Baby Heartbreak!
Kim and Kanye Split: It gets Nasty
Kim on Kanye: "He wore women's underwear!"
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Too damn funny!
Jersey Strong
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 6:14pm.
The best comment I've read so far came from Gawker:
"Did he at least let Kim finish?"
^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, clearly Kanye did!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 7:27am.@CashewWhy did you delete your post? My ass hit the floor to Muaja Hi Muaja this year, fyi. ;)
lmao l I was drunk posting and then realized I was drunk posting and thought I should play it safe. But anyway, now that I'm sober, I'll pull your gadi soniyein lol.
Submitted by chlyn on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 8:27pm.
Totally not in the mood to see stories/photos every week about this pregnancy.
What could possibly blow these two twats off the airwaves?
- Leo DiCaprio dates a Food Lion cashier
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... Target cashier, teacher, or postal worker. That would make my day.
Jersey Strong
The best comment I've read so far came from Gawker:
"Did he at least let Kim finish?"
XD
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 6:37pm.
Kills me the way he stole her thunder and announced it before she did. I dare say she's met her famewhore match and got waaaaaay more than she bargained for.
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I agree!
Jersey Strong
Submitted by toxicsparkles on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 11:57am.
Ok, i never thought i'd say this but i'd really really like an Angelina or Jennifer Aniston to announce a pregnancy like now. Someone that you know will take all the attention away from these two.
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I would be jaw-droppingly stunned, STUNNED, if Jennifer Aniston had or adopted a baby. She reportedly doesn't have a good relationship with her mother and nothing I've ever heard from her gives me the impression that she wants children.
Nothing wrong with that but I think she'd be too afraid of alienating her fans if she just came out and admitted it.
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HTTR
I have a hard time believing Kartrashian will ruin her perfectly sculpted (lipoed) waist. I stand firmly on team "pillow baby", evidenced by her claim of "no morning sickness". I realize not all women get it, but I just can't see someone as vain as she is carrying a baby.
And I'm in the small (invisible?) group that believes Kanye is actually in love with her and has been for a long time. She, on the other hand, sees fame + dollar signs.
I guess the Mayans were off a year. Keep hope alive.
Submitted by toxicsparkles on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 11:57am.
Ok, i never thought i'd say this but i'd really really like an Angelina or Jennifer Aniston to announce a pregnancy like now. Someone that you know will take all the attention away from these two.
I mean we'd lose out either way but id rather have them shoved into my face every 5 seconds that Kim and Kanye.
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YES! Every famous person in the world needs to get pregnant. That would really stick the knife in to K and K. She still kind of loses to her sisters though in the traditional "fairy tale" life that Kim K is so obsessed with:
Khloe has a legit marriage
Kourtney has two kids with a guy that....as much of a boner he is....has been around for more than 5 minutes.
What does Kim have? A baby out of wedlock with a man she knows will be out of her life in a year.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
Kim thinks she's Kourtney and her body will just snap right back and she'll be back to only 1 pair of Spanx under the 2-sizes-2-small kootour in a month. HAHAHA!! Weight Watchers won't save you, girl :-D
Submitted by toxicsparkles on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 11:57am.
Or maybe Anne Hathaway. As insufferable as I find her, she would turn it into a media funhouse as part of her Oscar grab.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Girl: Kuntessa Klitoria Kardiashian West
Boy: Kanga Kong Kimba Kalamazoo Kardashian West
Ok, i never thought i'd say this but i'd really really like an Angelina or Jennifer Aniston to announce a pregnancy like now. Someone that you know will take all the attention away from these two.
I mean we'd lose out either way but id rather have them shoved into my face every 5 seconds that Kim and Kanye.
Royal Baby being born around the same time would help i guess...
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 12:52am.
Within Reason, hey! OMG, some people were on here (was it yesterday?) saying that you were an alt because nobody could really be that nice.
You have to wonder what is going on in people's lives that they come to the end of the year - a time when they should be taking stock of what they have learned or achieved in the last twelve months, or, you know, spending time with their fucking families (?) - and all they have to do is sit and bitch and back-stab on the fucking internet about someone they don't even know and who doesn't seem to give that much of a fuck about any of them. These are all women in their fucking forties, by the way.
I hate the phrase 'baby mama' .
Submitted by CodeRed on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:13am.
what an ugly, ugly kid this will be.
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No big deal! They will simply get plastic surgery for the little troglodyte. Look what they did to poor Bruce! :(
Submitted by Datura on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 10:10pm.
And if the baby is lucky, wolves will abduct it and raise it as their own.
Submitted by Violet on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 9:37pm.
I bet PMK is scribbling these down as we speak. I wonder if she'll be shocked when Kanye points out that the granny doesn't get power over everything, because I don't see a big star like him letting the KKKlan try to control his life for their reality brand.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Isn't she his fetus mama? I don't think at two months it's even formed enough to be a baby.
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Blerg!!
He is ruining her! This is all planned as public humiliation. bet she doesnt know that.... She is not pregnant!
I forgot that these two lost a parent, as someone who's lost a parent I can see how that could bring em together, but geez leave them out of this, I can't imagine they would not want anything to do with this desperate act for attention, especially Kanye's mom.
Ugh, I just dealt with a breakup a couple of days ago, got lost on the way to a party, missed the New Years countdown, now I'm coughing my brains out, sore, hardly breathing, and now I have to deal with the realization that these two fucktards breeded, oh Happy Fucking New Year!
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
@Cashew
Why did you delete your post? My ass hit the floor to Muaja Hi Muaja this year, fyi. ;)
What does she mean, wait until she's showing?
She's carrying the baby in her ass, right?!
And just think...if this kid has Kanye's big ass head, and Kim's big ass ASS, there may not be a hole on her body to pull this little bastard out of!
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Facebook: Heaux Confessionals
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Any chance Kimhore will go into hiding while she expands to the size of Uranus?
Nice values PMK has shared with her cash cows, I mean daughters.
nunya bizness-"Kenessme" and "Bluer Ivy" are hilarious!!!
Submitted by luvmehateme on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 2:05am.
Kim on Kanye: "He wore women's underwear!"
haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And lo the Angel of the Lord broke the 2nd seal and a Kanye-dashian spilled forth, and base vapidness overtook the land, and there were people who abandoned humility, love, and compassion. They turned away from these things and worshiped shallowness, vanity, and material things designers said were pretty, but were hideous. And the people were saddened because the things the Kanye-dashian valued were rubbish and brought no joy.
Submitted by Who Datt on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:59pm.
I wish you were right about this, but you are not. This fucking baby just extended these assholes into the beyond.
It will be Kim: Bumpwatch!
Inside Kim's Baby Shower!
Kanye and Kim and Baby Househunt!
Pregnant Kim at her Anullment Proceedings!
Kim's Ciroc sponsored Baby Shower!
E! Will have Kims InKredible Baby Special! and Kim's Birth Special--Where their Sears shopping twitter fans will enter a contest to be there when she spits out this crotch fruit. There will also be Kollection at Pea in the Pod Krotchfruit by Kardashian.
Then later...
KIm's life as a Single MOM!!!
Kim's Post Baby Heartbreak!
Kim and Kanye Split: It gets Nasty
Kim on Kanye: "He wore women's underwear!"
This is never going to end. And it is all PMK's fault...that bitch couldn't be happier about this. Kim's uterus just took them all out of what was sure to be their nearing obscurity!
God Dammit to hell.
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
Poor Khloe. She is an asshole, but she is married to a guy she loves and can't get knocked up and her whore sisters get pregnant by fucktards just by looking at them.
Life is a fuckity fuck sometimes.
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
I'm also glad that neanderthal is making the divorce complicated. it may not even be over after she births out Roberta Donda West. ;)
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Let's hope Kim will not unload her child on someone else, like she did with her poor cat.
Hey! hey! hey! Reggie Bush and his Kim look alike Armenian girlfriend are expecting too, so it's only fair.
and it's not like he's some Scott Disick. Get that money grrrrrrl.
what an ugly, ugly kid this will be.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 12:52am.
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Heya CIJ how you doing girl? Happy New Year's! Hope you had a great holiday and that you're celebrating already!
I only get pissy with people bothering others (best pissy move is to hit report). Otherwise, I think plenty of people on here are good and very funny so can't really worry about someone who's had a bad day!
Something nasty... um... I dislike the KK's with every bone in my body! ha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Can't you see her 7 months preggers and going to host parties in Las Vegas? Because she doesn't want to be forgotten and her career.....whatever that is, is so important to her that it can't suffer because of her having a baby KJ will not stand for a reduced 10%
1) Kim is the ultimate daddy's girl and Kanye is a big momma's boy, I have a feeling that these two might work out well. I think because she's still married to Humphries, Kris H. is legally that child's father on paper.
2) I hope that when Kanye performs "Golddigger" at his next concert, the crowd openly mocks him.
3)Regarding names, the internet has submitted Kenesmee and Bluer Ivy. I think that baby is going to have an octogenarian name like Donda Roberta West.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
I'll save my puke for the 8 figures she'll get for the first pictures. This is the world we live in..
Within Reason, hey! OMG, some people were on here (was it yesterday?) saying that you were an alt because nobody could really be that nice. LOL!
You're a shifty one, ANGELA!
I hadn't refreshed RandéS, just saw it, HAHAHAHA (sacrilege, I know that should be a SMH but not today). You earn an OH LAWD!
Imma hope the KSpawn of KanyeK and KTrash does not follow in any of their Kho footsteps!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 12:41am.
Not bloody likely, is it? :)
I changed my avie for the evening to something DUI-related. HNY!!
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 12:27am.
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It will be a miracle if these two set aside their drama and fameho tendencies enough to become good parents. Let's hope that is so for the kid(s).
Love that wintery (or is that gingerbread housey?) scene in your avie! Happy New Year's to you RandéS! :D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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