Hot Sluts Of The Day!

Sjakie, a baby sloth at the Burgers’ Zoo in Arnhem, The Netherlands, and its teddy bear mommy. 

Well, here’s a little quick, pick-me-up awwww to get your day started before you stumble off to get drunk on communion wine at Sunday mass. Not long after Sjakie was born on May 19th, the zookeepers noticed that it (Note: The zookeepers don’t know if Sjakie has a sloth snatch or a sloth peen yet, because sloths’ genitals are inside their bodies. They’ll have to do an ultrasound later to find out. And that is today’s lesson on the crotch parts of sloths.) was whining and crying about something. When they examined Sjakie closer, they found that it was seriously thirsty for leche. Sjakie was dehydrated and its mom was not producing enough milk for it. The zookeepers tried to bottle feed Sjakie themselves, but that almost ended with their skin getting torn off, because baby sloths like to hang on to their mommy with their claws while eating. They tried a dozen other things and nothing worked.

But then a 2-year-old girl came along and knew what was up. She threw a “been there, done that” wink at Sjakie and gave it one of her teddy bears. That was it. Sjakie’s new mommy had been found. Spiegel Online says that Sjakie happily clings on to its teddy bear mommy while the zookeepers feed it all the good shit it needs. Sjakie still spends most of its time with its real mommy and only canoodles with its teddy bear mommy when it’s feeding time. Zookeepers said that sloths often piss on stuffed animals, so they had to get Sjakie another teddy bear mommy that they can wash. (“Where can I get an application for the job of teddy bear mommy to a baby sloth?” – Kim Kuntrashian)

Here’s a few more pictures of Sjakie and its teddy bear mommy for you to wrap your heart around. If you have hangover eyes like me, then you’ll probably say what I said when I first saw these pictures this morning: “That is the most adorable coconut with limbs I’ve EVER seen!”