You can dissect Omarosa’s side-eye all you want, but I’m going to get into Michael Clarke Duncan’s snow cone titties instead. Sadly, Michael Clarke Duncan’s snow cone titties almost rode on an ice cold cloud to heaven this morning after he went into cardiac arrest at his house in L.A.
According to TMZ, 54-year-old Michael Clarke Duncan’s heart started freaking out just before 2 this morning. Not only did I learn today that when the Virgin Mary shows herself on a tree in West New York, she sort of looks like a wooden vulva, but I also learned that Omarosa has been wet humping on Michael Clarke Duncan for years. I did not know this. And when the world almost lost MCD this morning, Omarosa saved him. Omarosa is usually trying to verbally kill hos with the cuntiness that comes out of her mouth, but today she used her mouth to save a life. Omarosa resuscitated MCD by giving him CPR. MCD was shuffled off to the hospital and he’s now in stable condition.