Tuesday, June 26th 2012

The Spice Girls Reunite And Posh Could Give A Shit

CORRECTION: That headline is factually wrong, because Posh can't physically give a shit. Posh had her entire digestive system removed, because it's not like she uses it anyway and it was getting in the way of her having a waist smaller than a grasshopper's peen shaft. So I should've wrote: Posh Could Give A Queef.

So, Scary Spice, Sporty Spice, Ginger Spice, Baby Spice and Tall Olsen Spice all gathered in front of the steps where they zig-a-zig-ah-ed in the Wannabe video 16 years ago to officially announce the Spice Girls musical. The musical will start with Scary, Sporty, Ginger and Baby discovering a miserable alien in a crashed asteroid and molding her into the Dark Crystal praying mantis she is today. Jennifer Saunders (that's Edina Monsoon to you and me) wrote the musical's book and Judy Craymer (the one in the pictures below who looks like an Asian Ellen Barkin) is producing it. Viva Forever! will open at the Piccadilly Theater in London's West End this December.

Here's Scary, Sporty, Ginger and Baby being all excited about getting a check while trying to ignore the luxury-wrapped skinny black cloud of poutiness next to them:

Oh, Posh, please forever remain that angst-ridden Emo goth teen who ruins Christmas by looking as miserable as possible while sitting at the dinner table. Seriously, I kept waiting for Posh to pull out a razor and start cutting herself while reciting Morrissey lyrics.

Posted by: Michael K


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Dgrin's picture

they all look pretty good but Posh is always my favorite, she didn't want to engage to their "hahahaha, we love each other" shit and she didn't in such a pretentious way, also yes.. not having food makes you quite unhappy and a nervous wreck, i'm muscle and bones skinny and if i don't eat and let myself get really hungry i enter a crazy mode where i can't control my anger,emotions and behavior..then only nice,warm food can calm me down and create happy thoughts in my head again..

RandéSleepover's picture

The Spice Ladies doesn't sound as cheery.

* * * * * * * * * * *
"Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?"

"Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past."

"I love the Spice Girls and I love MK but I have to point out that the correct phrase is 'couldn't give a shit' as in 'I could not even be bothered to do a shit'. Americans always get that wrong. Why is that?"

It's a colloquialism. They work that way sometimes.

Sarah Smile

Dame Chupacabra's picture

*rubbing my eyes* these could very well be images from 16 years ago... so annoying! How'd they do it!! and i'd sell a vital organ to have Posh's ensemble... because I know I can fit into it :-)

Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!

juni's picture

I love Posh's pretentiousness when she describes the Spice Girls' "journey." Like it was a path to enlightenment. LOL!!!

Versailles's picture

Mel C's daughter has a beautiful name, Scarlet.

It is almost as beautiful as my five month old baby's name, Cordelia.

Uptown James's picture

To prepare for the shoot, Posh dined on a tic-tac each day for the last 3 days.
_______________________________________________

"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."

loopygorilla's picture

posh honey wear some color, it wont kill you.
looking like a bullimic wednesday adams is not a good look.

id like to say i feel sorry for her, but i don't anymore. i used to think "poor posh"

but you know, she could divorce david for his wandering dick but she doesn't, she prefers to be the footballers wife, live with the AMEX black card with $2 million daily spending limit and the fame of being married to minnie mouse.

Migraineuse's picture

Back in the 90s, how I ardently wished the Spice Girls would just go away.

They never will, will they? We're stuck with them and their fake plastic mass-produced "music" forever.

It's like some evil necromancer keeps bringing them back together every few years or so, just when I am beginning to hope.

*______________________________________*

I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.

Daniee's picture

I get the feeling that Posh doesn't make an effort to look good, but to look 'thin' and 'expensive' which in her mind probably means trendy. I mean, just look at the state of her hair? Those highlights needed toner last week.

Darknight's picture

I love posh's grouchy face, it is the definition of no more fucks to give, and for that she makes my cold heart skip a beat.

t's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~

WinterOwl22's picture

Submitted by SandwichQueen on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 4:44pm.
She's been with Thomas Starr for 10 years and has a daughter, definitely not gay! And she's definitely the most talented of the group.
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Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 4:32pm
Sporty looks fab! No more gay rumors for her, I bet.

*******************
I know, but remember that ocassionally, someone would comment that she was closeted and just living a straight life. I personally can't believe that it's the same girl!

And I thought she named her daughter Starr?

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Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.

I want that Rhythm Nation throwback looking outfit.

I would so rock that!

I just love her silhouettes...

SANS FARDS's picture

oh damn...Posh is being upstaged...by all of them, even Mel B.

This will not stand!

_______________________________________________

"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

- Yogi Berra

Why these numbnuts keep reuniting?? Does anyone give a shit?

____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*

bexicle's picture

The other four look very enthusiastic and happy, well they be earning that money.

Skipped through the video without sound, posh looks like the girls awkward PA or something, stiff as cardboard.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

tl;dr lisa but thanks for playing.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 6:29pm.

And evidently you know nothing about not being a dickbag.

If a woman looks good in an article of clothing, who the hell are YOU to say she's too old to wear it? I read this entire thread, and no one commented that it was too young for her. So maybe you don't know what you're talking about.

People kill me pulling that narrow-minded crap of trying to tell grown-ass women that they can't wear bikinis, or mini-skirts, or whatever. I can't think of a single article of clothing that anyone tries to tell men they can't wear after the age of 40. So glad that confident women disregard that shit.

And while I'm no fashionista, I always thought babydoll dresses had waistlines higher than your natural waist. And from what I can tell, that dress doesn't. Looks like a regular lace dress to me, which I don't think the ladies-over-40 fashion police have banned yet.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

She is too old to be wearing that dress, and looks like an aged leather handbag in frills.

That's got nothing to do with me or my "own", but OK.

IrishFury's picture

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 6:29pm.

Submitted by lisa_lisa_lisa on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 5:53pm.
I'm sure her outfit is the most expensive, but her Rhythm-Nation-power-suit doesn't hold a candle to that adorable lace dress with the gold/silver belt that the one in the middle is wearing.

"the one in the middle" is like 40 years old, and too fucking old to be wearing babydoll lace dresses. Evidently you know nothing about style.

*************************
Each to their own
________________________________
Dark-sided!

IrishFury's picture

All the girls having a laugh and engaging with each other as Posh starves and poses for the camera!
________________________________
Dark-sided!

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by lisa_lisa_lisa on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 5:53pm.
I'm sure her outfit is the most expensive, but her Rhythm-Nation-power-suit doesn't hold a candle to that adorable lace dress with the gold/silver belt that the one in the middle is wearing.

"the one in the middle" is like 40 years old, and too fucking old to be wearing babydoll lace dresses. Evidently you know nothing about style.

Scott in NYC's picture

Mel C (Sporty Spice) looks the best...and LOL to Vicky Beckham who would strike a pose even if the world were collapsing around her. Give it a rest once in awhile, woman.

modelspiceboi's picture

Actually Geri's outfit looks like something Emma (Baby Spice) should be wearing. And I hate Scary pulling her hair back, she looks much better with it down or at least in a ponytail.

Victoria isn't one of the most talkative girls and so she just sorta hangs out during group interviews. Strangely enough, she is very outgoing by herself. Perhaps she is knows she isn't the "Alpha dog" in the band and is quite okay with that.

By the by, when the girls were actually making music together, Victoria was the typically the lower end of their harmonies and is actually an accomplished dancer. Performance-wise it is Geri who should be thanking her lucky stars that the group took off, she can't sing or dance.

Hekki's picture

They all look pretty damn good.

Whatever. I'm just enjoying the fact that she isn't even the best dressed. Oh, I'm sure her outfit is the most expensive, but her Rhythm-Nation-power-suit doesn't hold a candle to that adorable lace dress with the gold/silver belt that the one in the middle is wearing. Only prob with that outfit is the shoes, which make the whole look just at little too precious. If she switched shoes with Scary, she'd be killing it.

QuweenJillian's picture

Posh gets on my nerves! Even back in 4th grade, when the Spice girls were super popular and me and all my friends tried dressing like them, I didn't really like her. In general, people who refuse to smile in pictured annoy me. Instead of having fun, she's too worried about getting a "good" picture. But I think they all look good, none of them got fat, they all seem to have aged well. I just hate Scary spices tattoo. I don't mind tattoos on girls, I have one, but arm tattoos to me look so trashy on girls (a few can pull them off) But she goes from looking classy to trashy as soon as you see her arm...

_______________________________________

I'm not a slut, I'm sexually liberated. There's a difference.
_______________________________________

Daniee's picture

Photo is hilarious! Victoria is always ready to pose.
I think these ladies are all aging very well.....especially Sporty! Victoria is naturally cute, but the skinny just drains all the fat reserves from her face and neck.

Da Truff's picture

The Real Housewives of Slag Lane, Merseyside...

WithinReason...'s picture

Posh looks great, other than the serious expression. She's so quiet in the video, she could probably miss the next one and just send a cardboard poster and she'd be just as happy. Honestly, I don't see why she forces herself to go. Just film one of her very funny interviews and send that! Her bandmates would understand... ;D

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

She's been with Thomas Starr for 10 years and has a daughter, definitely not gay! And she's definitely the most talented of the group.
---
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 4:32pm
Sporty looks fab! No more gay rumors for her, I bet.

The SandwichQueen strikes again!

Fawn Knutsen's picture

Hahahha!! I love Posh!!!

WinterOwl22's picture

Sporty looks fab! No more gay rumors for her, I bet.

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Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.

Shy people aren't necessarily insecure, but our society that values bubbly and extroverts, makes it seem that way. Many people in Hollywood turn to drug use as a way to hide their shyness.

My older sister has a 2-year-old and a 3-year-old. From just a few months after they were born, you could see one was going to be shy and the other one was going to be super outgoing.

Posh looks the best here - very pretty.

mefunigirl's picture

"Oh, Posh, please forever remain that angst-ridden Emo goth teen who ruins Christmas by looking as miserable as possible while sitting at the dinner table"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I've got one of those in my home right now,
Spot on Ole Chap!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Damn I love that military outfit

ditquoi's picture

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 4:05pm.
Funny how the *ugly* one of the group turned out to be the hottest.

Sporty Spice? she does look better than she did back in the day but I wouldn't call her "hot"...

;)

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Posh is HBIC. The others are goofing around and she's posing it up a storm.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Funny how the *ugly* one of the group turned out to be the hottest.

When I was younger I absolutely LOVED the Spice Girls! Sporty was my favourite. And the news of this reunion is today, which is also the ten year mark since my high school graduation. The Sandwich Queen is gettin' a bit long in the tooth...

The SandwichQueen strikes again!

Message In A Bottle's picture

It seems like Posh is very insecure but also very guarded because when she had her own show (which bombed), she actually was poking fun of herself and making jokes.

I'm probably going to see this and relive the days of my youth.

-----------------------------------------------
"What is the Yiddish word for puto estúpido, because that's what he really is" - MK

ImpertinentVixen's picture

How can one be Baby Spice at like 40 or whatever she is?

Personally, if I were a Spice Girl, I'd have to be Old Spice.

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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.

MickeyHolland's picture

Posh is perpetually self aware. I have never seen her relaxed.

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Who are you calling silly cow?

doncorleone's picture

lislop-

I agree!! I thought I was the only one who felt that way about Posh, she really strikes me as very shy. Sue me guys, but I actually like her and she has the cutest fucking baby girl on this planet!

Gardening Girl's picture

Effe Posh. To me she looks like the third Trollsen. If she had'nt been in that shitty pop group she wouldnt have snagged a hot rich soccer star. She'd be out selling frocks at Bergdorf.

megank's picture

I feel like this will be a mess.

Posh Spice is clearly very shy and uncomfortable in group interviews. She tries to hide it and it comes off as snotty. However, in every interview I've seen of her alone or with David, she comes across as very cool and funny. They all look great!