Hot Slut Of The Day!

The plastic ponytail hair cone from the 90s!

Full disclosure: The picture I used is a reproduction, because I couldn’t find a clear vintage portrait of an authentic hair tool of glamour from the late 80s and early 90s. That one above is from ASOS. I know, you can barf at me through a plastic ponytail cone.

After Madonna brought out the high genie ponytail for the Blonde Ambition tour, hos of all ages ran to the nearest Sally’s Beauty and/or swap meet to buy the cheap ass plastic hair cone. You could buy like 3 for a $1 and everyone I knew had the gold ribbed one. It made the top of your head look like a hair fountain. I regularly stole one from my sister and since I had short hair, I had to pull a pair of beige pantyhose through the cone and hold it on top of my head while vogueing in front of the mirror. When I would feel extra theatrical, I’d turn a pair of Walkman headphones sideways and I’d strap it to my head so it would look like Madge’s face mic. A tragic mess. That is exactly why I’m thankful YouTube wasn’t even a jizz fish in its daddy’s nutsack when I was a kid.

Because everything from the early 90s is making a comeback, I’m sure I’ll see a bunch of young ass hos try to work the gold ponytail hair cone. They shouldn’t even try it. If you’re not wearing it with pantyhose hair, you’re doing it wrong.