ScarJo And "The Most Beautiful Man You've Ever Seen" Are In Hawaii
Cover your genitals with an industrial-strength chastity belt before you click on the thumbnail of the adonis who has been dubbed the "most beautiful man ever seen" by human eyes, because if you don't your fuck parts will try to wrap themselves around your monitor and you'll have to cancel all your plans for the rest of the day.
Meteorologists reported that the weather in Hawaii this weekend would be dark, cloudy, rainy and that the sky would be covered with a thick layer of depressed sadness (no, they didn't, I'm lying), but as soon as our modern day David, Nate Naylor, showed up, everything changed. The sun came out to touch his beauty with its rays, the buds bloomed in record time like they were on speed and the hummingbirds exploded into sprays of nectar. Nate has that effect on nature. So all you hos in Hawaii can thank Nate for the sunshine this weekend. Oh, and ScarJo is also there, but who cares about her Sean Penn-licking ass.
And on a serious note, do you think Nate Naylor's parents are a little disappointed that he grew up to be an ad executive type who is motorboating a movie star? I mean, they named him Nate Naylor, which means they had high hopes of him becoming a porn star or a superhero's sidekick.
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I would put my penis in her vagina. No problemo.
"Put a needle in my hand, I'm a regular Victor Van Gogh"
Dinosaur Bob
I'd take her body over mine anyday.
Poor thing, she knows a paparazzi is taking pictures so she's sucking her gut in like her life depends on it. I can relate, as I'm skinny but don't have a bodacious beach body. When my husband takes pics of me in my bikini, I turn into an American's Next Top Model rat, trying to smize and square my shoulders and suck my tummy in and all that shitness.
Given all the negative comments here, is it any wonder so many stars go crazy with mutilating their bodies with plastic surgery and/or develop eating and exercise disorders? Imagine the damage it must do to a person's self-esteem to have what is supposed to be a relaxing beach vacation turned into a photographer stalked event. Then to have those pictures posted online in perpetual for every damn pore of your body to be scrutinized and picked apart by millions--the majority of whom don't look half as good.
The problem is that the media wants to sell us people like Scarlett as flawless beauty goddesses when in reality they're obiously not. She doesn't have what I see as a beautiful body. Sure, there a far worse bodies, but she has knocked knees a lot of cellulite, a wobbly stomach, a too short torso and a face only a mother horse can love. The only thing she has going for her is her blonde hair, her lips and her big breasts. She can look pretty when she's getting the Hollywood makeup artist treatment, but then, so would countless other average looking girls and women in this world.
The problem are not the commenters, the problem is the media and women like Scarlett who buy into their own hype instead of saying "Hey, girls and women. Don't believe all those heavily edited pictures you see from me on a daily basis in magazines or on the internet. I've got cellulite, blackheads, wrinkles and zits just like you. There is no such thing as perfection."
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Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
So funny MK!!! ScarJo has a kickass body....like most celebs, she looks like she does much more intense cardio than us slobs, but she also looks like she eats healthy and does not starve or cleanse herself.
I have no issue with her body. It looks young and healthy and soft in a lovely way. It's nice, if unexceptional. I just can't believe she's ever been considered a great beauty; in my eyes, her face is downright ugly. I honestly wouldn't look twice at her on a beach or anywhere else, for that matter.
Add to that, she's a dreadful actress. I hope she disappears, soon.
Why does everyone pick on her? She seems normal and not anoerexic. The main photo does have a bit of Robocop pose to it, though.
Submitted by HomecomingQueen... on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 6:14pm.
Submitted by deez on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 6:05pm.
You are hot, don't care whatcha look like.
Slow claps over here!
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Thanks. ;)
And you. And ScarJo. A little cellulite be damned.
She looks great, and healthy.
Sad that we've become so conditioned to seeing idealized images of so-called physical "perfection" that we can no longer appreciate what a naturally pretty body looks like. Scarlett Johannson has a very nice body. She's young, and it probably wouldn't take her more than a couple of weeks to tone up, if and when she feels like it. Maybe, right now, she fucking doesn't feel like it. What, was she not supposed to go to the beach when she wanted to?
Given all the negative comments here, is it any wonder so many stars go crazy with mutilating their bodies with plastic surgery and/or develop eating and exercise disorders? Imagine the damage it must do to a person's self-esteem to have what is supposed to be a relaxing beach vacation turned into a photographer stalked event. Then to have those pictures posted online in perpetual for every damn pore of your body to be scrutinized and picked apart by millions--the majority of whom don't look half as good.
Wouldn't want to put myself in that place for all the money, fame or privilege in the world. Not worth it.
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 6:24pm.
Not only is it beautiful to embrace not tanning for your health and longevity of looks (see: Julianne Moore who is effing 50), it's also nice to not smear that nasty tanning stuff. It looks obvious, and in no way does it improve your looks. If you're already tan I can see it enhancing your tone, but expecting to go from Nicole Kidman to Carmen Electra is stupid and just another way to keep telling yourself you aren't attractive enough unless you're something else.
This also applies to women who lighten their skin, a different subject, yet relevant.
Sure, I'm 30, and people still say to me, "wow you are SO fair, don't you ever tan?" Fuck 'em. Pale skin happens, cellulite happens. Not going to stop me from enjoying the beach. *puts on wide brim hat*
"Submitted by HomecomingQueen... on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 12:51pm.
She's really pretty. And as a pale woman, I applaud her visible lack of spray tan."
*clinks drinks with HomecomingQueen* I'm pretty ambivalent towards her, but I'm always heartened to see pale famous people. There's NOTHING wrong with being pale and embracing it pays off in dividends as you age. Trust.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by deez on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 6:05pm.
You are hot, don't care whatcha look like.
Slow claps over here!
She's kinda meaty!
I do Pagents!
She's got a great body. Age, fitness levels or body type - doesn't matter, if you're going to get cellulite, you will.
No one is immune. Why the fuck should she cover up a bit of cellulite when it's not that bad?
Shows she's normal. Shows she's like the rest of us. Nice to see someone in Hollyweird not stick-thin and enjoying themselves.
She doesn't need more exercise either. Fuck. No wonder us women feel bad about ourselves when we've got other nitpicking at every Goddamn thing on our bodies. Enough already.
I suddenly love ScarJo!! Nice bod, girl! Thanks for keeping it real!
I think she looks great! Beautiful and Natural!
Kate Bosworth should take a page from her book.
EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 5:44pm.
well, lets not go too far... i've never heard of people getting "god" sucked out of their asses for a high price... wait... does that qualify as "Exorcism"?... Benny Hinn needs to get on this!
Think BIG! Think fight club and Real Housewives BIG! Cellulite soap rules!
I'm a 2-4 and have ScarJo cellulite. My legs are a huge problem area, gave up wearing shorts years ago. So I enjoy seeing her like this, I agree-- makes me feel better!
I'm a 2-4 and have ScarJo cellulite. My legs are a huge problem area, gave up wearing shorts years ago. So I enjoy seeing her like this, I agree-- makes me feel better!
Submitted by Satan on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 5:34pm.
Cellulite is awesome. It knows no class/race/creed, it just IS. Cellulite is like GOD!
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well, lets not go too far... i've never heard of people getting "god" sucked out of their asses for a high price... wait... does that qualify as "Exorcism"?... Benny Hinn needs to get on this!
OT: anyway, i, personally think she looks lovely... and i'm sure that she appreciates my candor... i bet she calls me to go to Red Lobster any day now!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
cokeysniffy on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 5:32pm.
Her body is perfect.
You just made my thighs grin devilishly with glee.
DONUT time!!!!!!1
Cellulite is awesome. It knows no class/race/creed, it just IS. Cellulite is like GOD! God and Bill Cosby making jokes about your ass!
I heart God & Jell-O!
Oops!
Her body is perfect. I don't think skinny is nearly as attractive as a little softness on a woman. I wish I looked like this in a bikini! :(
She doesn`t need a one-piece, she needs a sarong tied around her tush and upper legs to cover up the cellu. Shit, some people just get it, some don`t. Not a whole lot you can do with exercising. They say rub coffee-grounds on your cellulite, don`t know if it works. She looks ok to me. At least looking at her body doesn`t make me feel bad about mine.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
I don't think a one piece would really help her that much. Her legs are her "problem area." I think her little stomach is quite cute.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
whatever guys, she's fucking beautiful, and has a killer body. Fuck all the haters!
Scarjo I love you but honey you really ought to consider zumba for that stomach.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
IrishFury on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 5:12pm.
Fuck you, bitch. You know I love your fucking ass more! I soooooo fucking want you in the woooooooooorst wayyyyyyyy.
I want to lick the delicious buttery roasted flavor off of your Mexican tanned skin right now!
Mmmmmmmmmm. I can almost taste you! Hint of cinnamon?
ScarJo, eat your heart out, IrishFury is back up in da house and she is one hawtmamasita!
nate nail her? really? wow wat a name.
She does not need to be in a one-piece, she looks fine.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Satan, all that "Fuck You" talk is only serving to make me love you. And I don't even know if you are male or female.
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Dark-sided!
Oh, please. She's gorgeous and has a great body.
Oh well, I'm blushing! You two, behave! (really, don't).
I'm just saying that we have forgotten what natural bodies look like. I work out and eat well and have had three kids, and yes, I still qualify for a bikini. I'm no bikini model but it works!
Oh and who was I chatting with about laser removal for the bikini line? Was it EEG? Anyway, it works brilliantly, even more reason to wear a swimmer!
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Dark-sided!
IrishFury on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 5:01pm.
FUCK YOU! I bet you look so yummy and perfectly delectable right now. I hate you!
KISS MEEEEEEE
Submitted by IrishFury on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 5:01pm.
there are pictures accompanying your post, correct?... take your time, i'll wait here... heeheehee!
OT: she's still boring.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
mike on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 4:42pm.
She looks less good in a bikini than I would have thought.
When in doubt, one-pieces, ladies.
Please don't gas-light and banana hammock me at the same time.
Reeses one-pieces plural singular fuckery.
Is a nutsack bulging Speedo considered a 'one-piece' too? Because, that shit called 'bathing trunks' on a dude's twig and berries is NOT decent in public. Just GROSS. GROSS. GROSS. And, there are plenty of men who should cover their nasty, hairy, sagging, cellulite ridden titties, droopy scrotums, flappity arm wings and flat, flabby asses too.
I'm not angry or anything. Just stating the obvious!
*bounces around and smiles*
I am not going to hate because my body is almost idential to hers except i don't have half that cellulite (that's a lot for a young woman but it's not something that can be helped so no hate from me) and my mid section is a lot flatter. If you think her body is awful, then you are mad.
Oh and I have a great Mexican tan :)
I love to see a natural body like that, esp. in Hollyweird.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 4:26pm.
I normally do not comment on minor cellulite, because most women have some. But she has a lot. And she's young.
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i was thinking the same! definitely too much for someone who is 27yo. i am actually surprised because i'm sure she takes good care of herself in terms of a healthy diet; her complexion is lovely.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
SCARJO would always be able to get my business.
Still...I'm not gonna complain if babydoll wants to get in the gym and tighten it up just a tad more.She's crossing the line from nibbly delicious baby fat...to careless cellulite.
She looks less good in a bikini than I would have thought.
When in doubt, one-pieces, ladies.
parissucksliterally on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 4:26pm.
Even little Miss Muffet's spider got a boner!
I normally do not comment on minor cellulite, because most women have some. But she has a lot. And she's young.
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I'm not gonna meet your mother anytime
I just wanna grip your body over mine
Please tell me why you think that's a crime
I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy
I think she's beautiful. Her features may at times look less than perfect but perfection is overrated. : ^ \
And I just saw the pics with the "cellulite". In one she is walking and those pap cameras always capture things that we can't see or capture with regular cameras. And in the other pic it's visible cuz she is resting one leg on top of the other.
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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Jelly Owl!
Submitted by blueangel on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 4:16pm.
ScarJo is known for her face. Her body has never been thin but I don't think she really cares anyway.
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She's known for her boobs.
She looks quite thin to me on this pic: http://www.scarlettjohansson.org/pictures/scarlettjohansson53.jpg
Oh, and I think she cares - maybe that's why she broke up with Ryan Reynolds, cause she couldn't keep up with him - you saw them jogging and whatnot 24/7.
After the freak that was Sean Penn, she probably wanted "a normal guy", but she could do much better than this. He looks like he hangs out at Hooters.
Enjoy the Poi! Motherfucker.
Didn't Scarjo used to have big boobs?
Meh, she's overrated IMHO. She's a lousy actress at best, not all that attractive and her lips look fake even though they may be real (I don't really care either way).
And this desperate jumping from one peen to another, well... actually I can't disapprove of that!
ScarJo is known for her face. Her body has never been thin but I don't think she really cares anyway.
And for you Dlisters with cellulite: exfoliating toward the heart every day with a brush or whatever those pads are called greatly helps.
"...guys will eat corn and then bet on how many kernels there are in each poo log they make and how many poo logs there will be in each plop. And for a grand finale, they'll have a sliding scale on how well-formed said poo logs are."
-Submitted by Dog