Take a moment to bow your heads and mourn the old copies of Sassy Magazine you kept in a Chinese Laundry boot box underneath your bed in your childhood room at your parent’s house. Because for some reason, they have crawled all the way to Miami and committed suicide by exploding onto the body of Vanessa Hudgens as she strolled with her piece Austin Butler yesterday afternoon. That crocheted monokini plus those dreadful ass overalls equals a whole lot of NO. Bitch looks like a permanently hungover Spring breaker in Panama City Beach, FL who ran out of booze money and was forced to get a quick job as a house painter. Overalls are only okay if you’re still in diapers, building an outdoor deck or making moonshine on a shopping cart grill. Otherwise, just say NOPE.
Vanessa needs to stop thinking she’s Vanessa Huxtable. Bitch puts the NO in Lisa Bonet. Oh, don’t you miss the old days when pretty pretty princess Zac Efron would pick out Vanessa’s outfits, so she wouldn’t step out of the house looking like the tragic carcass of fug collapsed on top of her?