Thanksgiving Eve Crumbs

I am thankful for my cholita cousins who always taught me that should a freak bleach accident ever take my eyebrows, I can always replace them with help from a Sharpie, so I don’t resemble an Alien Nation extra like Molly Sims here – Hollywood Rag

But for why isn’t that checker lady curtsying at the sight of Duchess Catherine? Off to the gallows with her! – Lainey Gossip

Pimp Mama Kris has put the Kuntrashians on media lockdown. Will somebody please wrap the lockdown key in pie dough and feed it to Khloe? – The Superficial

If David Cross’ groom suit doesn’t only consist of blue skin paint, I will have a disappoint – Celebitchy

Darren Criss’ upside down widows peak eyebrows on the How To Succeed… poster – Towleroad

Michael Assbender sings! – Lainey Gossip

Emo Raccoon is still Emo and still a raccoon – Hollywood Tuna

ScarJo looks like a post-op Max Headroom on Interview Magazine – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

This list of opposites attract is incomplete without Skat Kat and Paula Abdul – The Berry

Reese Witherspoon’s got a butt chin on her crotch – Popsugar

Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s latest piece looks like an Eva Mendes/Keira Knightley hybrid to me – Popoholic

Surprise, surprise, J.R. Martinez won Dancing with the Stars – Just Jared

Pretty person says she used to be BLAH BLAH ugly and BLAH BLAH it was hard for her BLAH BLAH – ICYDK

Jessica Simpson wants to propose marriage to that thing – The Daily What

But before she does that, Jessica Simpson wants to know if that turducken cake comes in a Weight Watchers version – Celebslam

What Herman Cain sleeps in at night – OMG Blog

Three minutes later, grandma started freebasing those Pop Rocks – Videogum

Stock up cookie dough and cake batter soup, because JLove got dumped again – I’m Not Obsessed

All My Children and One Life to Life are dead forever – SOW

Willow Smith covers Frank Ocean, and survey says: NO. – Crunk + Disorderly

But what’s most surprising is that Justin Bieber’s pink underwear doesn’t have the word “JUICY” embroidered on the back of it – Cityrag

(Image via Fame Pictures)