Dean Puts The Der In McDermott
Last night on Twitter, Tori Spelling's beady-eyed husband Dean McHerpDerp served his 70,000+ followers a pair of chocolate and buckwheat pancakes when he accidentially posted a picture of his son with his wife's titty balls chilling out in the background. TITTYBOMB! Ever since my retinas tore into pieces from staring at pictures of Tori looking like a stick of wood with two boiled grapefruits stapled to it, I vowed to keep my eyes away from any pictures of her bare silicone bags, but I looked anyway. The only thing I have to say about breaking my vow is that I'll never nibble on a pupusa the same way again.
If you really need to see Tori's tits settling down after breastfeeding (which I'm guessing that's what they're doing), then click here or here. I'm not one to defend Tori, but those of you screaming "OMG MOMMA TITTAYS IN FRONT OF A CHILD!!!11!!!" need to stop. That child has stared at Tori's face every day of his life, so I'm sure a pair of naked breasts won't scar him.
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Nice! My last name is McDerpMerp!
Ok certain people are freaking out over kids seeing their mom topless? Really? They are just kids and they don't see them as anything but food sources.
I remember an aunt of mine was breast feeding a cousin of mine and her teenage son was there and he would lean in close to the baby and do some baby talk. While he was being BREAST fed. THAT was creepy. It would be one thing if he was in the same room, but to be SOCLOSE. Ummmm. No.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Looks like that kid inherited a good bit of the DER.
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"Zahara wore her signature double shank eye..." --MK
LOL @ Hotpocket!!
WTF is on that kid's head? Is that some memory repression device, he needs it.
Those shits look like she has well done hamburger patties stuck to the bottom of her tits...
"How do you breast feed if you have fake tits???
serious question. I fed both my kids, but my hoff tittays are real"
I breastfed both my kids and I had implants at the time. They were saline at the time and caused no problems at all and I had great milk production both pregnancies. Since then though I've had my implants replaced and a lift done, otherwise my boobs would look like Tori's. Hers look awful, big and saggy with huge aerolas. She could benefit from a lift. Not bashing her baby feeding boos but her boobs have looked messed up for a while.
I have little or no opinion re: shaking your tittays in front of the chirrun or what age to turn off the tap.
This *does* say you shouldn't take photos in your home and instantly post them for 70K people to see. Damn!
Ugh, I have what one dude called Pepperoni Tits (which he apparently meant as a compliment)..I hate to think this is my future, but I did ask my mom recently if having me affected her breasts badly and she said no..I still have dads genetics to worry about so I guess its a 50/50 chance.
I know a lot of "hippie" parents (one of them had a natural birth at home with only the help of their friends, I don't know how she did it) that are super comfortable with nudity in front of their children, they even have pics on fb of them breastfeeding..I think more about how their kids must feel, but some of those kids are super mature for their age and don't care. The child version of me might of had something to say though, but then again I was an easily embarrassed child.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
Wait.A.Goddamn.Minute! On the nsfw jump, did I just witness a tit with a saucer nipple??? The other is the size of a quarter??? And damn who the fk is stupid enough to have a kid in the room with his mom splayed out nekkid face up and be like, "oh adorable pic time, derp!" I'm mostly concerned/disturbed about the elephant nipple sitch. *moves on; can't tonight*
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Mark 3:22 - "Words and Ideas Can Change The World" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiKM6g-dfBo&feature=related. "The powerful play goes on...that YOU may contribute a verse..." - Whitman. THINK FREE.
I wonder in which decade did the fun go out of Tori's funbags?
How do you breast feed if you have fake tits???
serious question. I fed both my kids, but my hoff tittays are real.
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
These two really have staying power...I thought they would've gotten divorcenated by now because Dean's wandering eye had found someone new.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Tori was in last weeks US weekly and said she doesn't produce enough milk to breastfeed, so she does formula.
Yeah...I didn't need to see that...
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It's so cold in the D....
I'd be more worried about feeding my babies all that silicone....That can't be good, nursing with fake titty balls....
*is in awe once again of the effect Dlisted has had on the vocab*
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
bashful nipples, camera shy. they don't want to be seen on her, so they're tucking under.
understandable as she has a face not even a mother could love.
i think what tori and dean bonded together on (aside from her family's bazillions) was their shared tragedy of having eyes a plastic surgeon can't fix. someone cruelly hit that guy between the eyes with a face shrinking ray gun.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YTkxr3j2HQ&feature=related
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 3:33pm.
I have a ten year old but my boobs are exactly the same as before I had him.
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PICS OR YOU ARE SO LYIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 4:06pm.
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I went from a 34B to a 44F with my first pregnancy and my skin has no elasticity whatsoever. Three kids with massive boob gain each time and they're now totally deflated and look like a sunny side up egg tacked to a corkboard.
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So, topless, we're twins?!?! ***waits for Jack to volunteer to be da judge*** wink
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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 3:33pm.
What are burger boobs or nipples??? I have a ten year old but my boobs are exactly the same as before I had him. What are MOM boobs???
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I went from a 34B to a 44F with my first pregnancy and my skin has no elasticity whatsoever. Three kids with massive boob gain each time and they're now totally deflated and look like a sunny side up egg tacked to a corkboard.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Tori can nurse me any day of the week!
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Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
I'm more interested in why (it seems) the 4-year-old has a small whitehead on his chin.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 3:20pm.
Sew them back onto the teenager that you ripped them off of.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:59pm.
The reason nipples darken so much in pregnancy is so that they stand out from the rest of the breast as much as possible so that babies (who can't see well at all when born) can see them as best they can.
My nipples got quite a tan in pregnancy and now they are pale again. I liked their golden tan... so fresh and beachy!
Thank you!
I suppose that must be her, but it's hard to believe those are the same plastic domes with dents in them.
What are burger boobs or nipples??? I have a ten year old but my boobs are exactly the same as before I had him. What are MOM boobs???
If this doubles posts, sorry, I'm on my phone...
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
I've had a bad day. I think I'll turn it in the right direction by not clicking on a picture of Tori's saggy bloblos.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
*Flashes virgin bewbies at thread*
They're not mine.
Prolapsed anus that is.
Oh, and I seriously miss my post partum breastfeeding boobies. *sigh*
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Er, how could he have missed those when he posted that picture? This was no accident.
It's not my way but who am I to judge? My oldest two have either asked or covered their eyes to show they don't want to see me shirtless. I absolutely respect that and keep my privacy. My youngest is 3 and totally oblivious. Ain't no thing either way.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
The reason nipples darken so much in pregnancy is so that they stand out from the rest of the breast as much as possible so that babies (who can't see well at all when born) can see them as best they can.
My nipples got quite a tan in pregnancy and now they are pale again. I liked their golden tan... so fresh and beachy!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by snowball on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:22pm.
My mom knew somebody who did that. After one of the kids played bell ringer with his nuts, he changed his mind and suddenly became religious about underwear.
The self-important nudists also went naked in front of other people's kids while babysitting, and got offended if anyone criticized them for it.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Is it just me, or are ALL nipples weird-looking? I just find nipples on men or women repulsive. I don't get why some people get so excited over the nippies.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
TT: Having babies didn't ruin mine. I wrote a TMI post and decided to delete it. Suffice it to say that sex is better than it was before having kids.
When we manage to get to it, that is.
Those boobs look depressed. Dem pancake nipples look they're about to shed a tear.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:34pm.
Ah weed. Makes you say some of the funniest shit when you are high.
*books ticket to the next Cannabis Cup*
Seriously, we should all have a Dlisted reunion in Amsterdam.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:31pm.
Submitted by BoredSlore on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:28pm.
Wouldn't that make the Duggar woman the tightest woman on the planet? So tight you wouldn't even be able to stick a pencil up there?
(Just joking btw)
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Jeebus I nearly hacked up my left lung reading that.
Well, Imma g'head and come clean. Me and the 2.5 y/o have been running fevers and sick with colds off and on the last week or so. This will be day 2 he has stayed home from daycare. Since we've both been down to our skivvies, I DID take my sports bra off when we napped and didn't put it back on *right away*.
Since the boys daddy is in Qatar, and it is just him and me (and 2 dogs and a kitty), the boy follows me everywhere. In the bathroom, in the shower, in the bedroom when I'm changing... doesn't matter.
He sees the bewbs as a source of feeding and just as another part of *mommy's body I can slap when I'm annoying her*.
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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
Submitted by BoredSlore on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:32pm.
*waves back* lol
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Titties. The weirdest compliment i ve ever gotten was about my nipples. What the fuck is a beautiful nipple? That was pre-kids and breastfeeding, so i don`t know if that still applies. May have just been the weed talking back then, what do i know.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
LOL @ BoredSlore - I didn't say I passed the pencil test.
My 4 and 6 year old... well I haven't had my own private bath or shower since they were born. They force themselves into the bathroom just to point at mommy's naked butt and boobs. You learn to stop giving a fuck. Now if they still do this when they are teenagers, we have a problem.
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:28pm.
Traumatic childhood memory - seeing my 75+ yr old neighbor (my friends grandma) coming out of the bathroom topless with a towel wrapped around her. Those big udders were dangling below her waist! Horrifying! *performs pencil test to check for sagging*
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Pencil? Hell I can carry a cucumber under each of mine!
***pulls one of my bewbs out of my armpit and waves it at Jack***
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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
Submitted by BoredSlore on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:28pm.
Wouldn't that make the Duggar woman the tightest woman on the planet? So tight you wouldn't even be able to stick a pencil up there?
(Just joking btw)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:26pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:07pm.
...youjust give up when a 2 year old kicks the door open while you're on the can.
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Ha, ha!!!!
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Yup! He said he missed me! :)
After 7 years I had forgotten how brown nipples becoming while pregnant. I hated that and I hated breast feeding. I know I'm a woman who's suppose to be ga-ga about breast feeding but I couldn't stand it. It was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 2:22pm.
I thought having babies ruins your cooch?
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ACTUALLY, I found that things became more... uhhhh.... *user friendly* once everything tightened up after birfs.
It even happened after my one C section. *ponders curiously*
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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
Hello DWM.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Traumatic childhood memory - seeing my 75+ yr old neighbor (my friends grandma) coming out of the bathroom topless with a towel wrapped around her. Those big udders were dangling below her waist! Horrifying! *performs pencil test to check for sagging*