What In The Hell Kind Of GD Evil Queen Is This?!

Hollywood is queefing out Snow White movie after Snow White movie and here's the one that recycled Bjork's Oscar swan dress (see Phil Collins' daughter wearing that white tinfoil swan mess on her head in the picture below) and also cast Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. The only two words that jump into my head after blinking at this picture a couple of time are: A MESS!

You know, Julia's laugh could put any bitch in a coma so she sort of makes sense as the Evil Queen, but then they stapled my auntie's white peacock wall ornament to her back and slapped some sequined peacock feathers over her nipples. How are we supposed to believe that Julia can shoot fear into grown men when she basically looks like the fail version of this masterpiece look:

Even the Evil Queen's mirror can't with the mess she's wearing. I'm sure there one scene will go something like this:

The Evil Queen: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
Mirror: Do you mean, who's the biggest fool of all? That would be you and your peacock nipples. Now go pluck yourself, you silly bitch!

Don't even get me started on how we're supposed to believe that an evil horse would actually give up one of its apples. You know you're in trouble when your version of Snow White makes Kristen Stewart's version of Snow White look interesting.

That being said, I'll be sitting sixth row center on opening night since I cannot ignore a campy mess that not even ABC Family would air.

Here's more from Tarsem Singh's Snow White that stars Lily Collins (as Snow White), Julia (as the EQ), Armie Hammer (as Prince Charming) and Nathan Lane (as the Evil Queen's henchman).

via People, Entertainment Weekly, Yahoo Weekly

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by MizRo on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 5:59am.

CholaMom: Anything "Grimm" should be powerfully delightful and noir, if based on on the Brothers Grimm Faery Tales...

Submitted by CholaMom on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 4:50am.

There's a third Snow White thing coming. Not just the two movies, but a third TV SERIES called "Once Upon A Time" with Ginnifer Goodwin (from Big Love). IMDB says, "Centers on a woman with a troubled past who is drawn into a small town in Maine where the magic and mystery of Fairy Tales just may be real."

And a FOURTH -- "Grimm" on NBC -- "Remember the fairy tales your parents used to tell you before bedtime? Well, those weren't stories, they were warnings."

Pfft. Though it's possible that these MIGHT not suck.

Then again, four (or more) Fairy Tale "ideas" in one season? There truly are NO original plots anymore.

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I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez

Submitted by MizRo on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 4:37am.

Despise Roberts: literally loathe her.

Submitted by ikoihiI on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 1:04pm.

Two movies are coming out. One is Snow White with Julia Roberts, where Bjork was the costume designer. The other is Snow White & The Huntsman with Charlize Theron that is more like Lord of the Rings (and features the death of a dwarf).

Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 12:59pm.

No.

Submitted by vidz on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 12:21pm.

@angel, you watch Kandee too?

Both look incredibly lame and pretentious, so of course I'm going to check them out. Charlize looks amazing as usual. But then again, she looked amazing as the mentally retarded Rita. I just rewatched the Mr F episode of arrested development. Lol. It was so funny it made me sad all over again.

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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 11:14am.

I think she makes a GREAT evil queen! IM(ns)HO I think she should ONLY EVER play an evil queen.

♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0

Submitted by Wren on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 10:27am.

WTF is up with Phil Collins' daughter's eyebrow situation?

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I'm bored with babies and engagements and happiness and joy and shit. - ImpertinentVixen

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 9:43am.

God not another fairy tale turned movie!!! This looks like utter shyte. I wont be forking over my hard earned money on this mess. I am not looking forward to the live action/ CGI version of the Little Mermaid with Emma Stone!!!!

Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 8:59am.

That is the most boring looking prince ever, and Julia looks like a giant pumpkin in the thumb.

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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)

Submitted by egos4lunch on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 8:00am.

what? No Peter Dinklage? Not interested.

Submitted by skinny fat on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 7:39am.

Charlize Theron is a stunning woman. Stunning.

Submitted by bitchSpray on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 7:36am.

is the dwarf on the right asian??? rofl

a check is a check, i guess
* * *
my dirty mind at http://bitchspray.tumblr.com (nsfw)

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 7:34am.

I'm not understanding this.

Submitted by anna hannah on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 7:06am.

Julia Roberts is in it so you won't need to see it in the theater, it'll be one week after premier and you can catch it in the direct to shit bargain bin sale for 5.99

Submitted by chaka1 on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 6:40am.

I am so confused. Why two movies? I am so confused.

Submitted by Clio on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 6:21am.

Submitted by Andrei on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:15pm.

I'm waiting for them do to a movie over that 90s game Oregon Trail.
----------------------------------------------------

Here you go- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHps2SecuDk

I'd rather see someone like Winona Ryder taking on this role. That said, I'll skip both abominations.

Submitted by snuffy on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 6:20am.

Since I don't see them in this pic, is it safe to assume that Verne Troyer, Wee Man and Deep Roy will be among K-Stew's dwarves? Or just another CGI-multiplied Deep Roy?

Submitted by DonnaInMichigan on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 6:06am.

Ok, so who did she have to suck off to get this role?

I see a Razzie award in her future......

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 5:51am.

Julia Roberts playing a super-bitch? That won't be much of a stretch for her...

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 5:20am.

I think it's hilarious that Julia thinks she's playing a role, while the majority of us simply think her natural cuntiness makes her a natural for this. Never liked this bitch ever since she did that stupid Oceans movie with Clooney. That's when she started taking herself wayyyyy too seriously.

Submitted by sonne on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 5:08am.

I'll see both probably but looking at the photos, Charlize is exuding evil queen whereas Julia is exuding suburban mom off to a costume ball. She doesn't look nice or evil or anything but meh to me. Well, she looks like JR in a fancy dress. :)
Maybe movement will help. ;)

Submitted by Helena on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 4:49am.

This is a tough call. I heart Theron and I've never cared for Roberts, but it's because Roberts seems like a stone-cold bitch, which would be perfect for this character. Plus, she's not all in black, so that could potentially be more menacing than someone who's obviously evil. That said, I think it's more likely that Roberts could pull off the major cunt act, and Theron would take it to a whole other level of evil. I will probably have to see both.

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Devil's advocate.

Submitted by MudTurtle on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 3:51am.

Urmomma-im with you. LOVE LOVE LOVE Steel Magnolias. ******************
She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11

Submitted by Juniperjump on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 2:15am.

Julia Roberts is basically the original Goopey, only without the press.

Submitted by chasing windmills on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 2:01am.

To quote another queen in another movie, who by the way will always be queen of the campy movies:

OFF WITH HER HEAD -- Julia's that is.

-Helena Bonham Carter as Queen of Hearts

Submitted by samesame on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 12:05am.

Submitted by ewlulu on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:27pm.
This movie needed more Tim Burton. He would have fixed this crap.

Just like he fixed Alice in Wonderland??? Nooooooooooooooooo. That shit was gd awful, but at least the costumes were pretty nice. As for those Snow White costumes: I may never seen worse. Either the costume designer has no taste or talent whatsoever or (which is my guess since I know this shit by heart being myself a costume designer) the director had a very strong vision of the costumes and now the look exactly like he pictured. Ew, there´s no hope for this movie considering this AND that Phil Collins chick (NOT PRETTY!!!) and Julia Roberts (annoying as fuck!)....

Submitted by kylimayrow on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 11:44pm.

Nepotism wins again, Lily Collins? Who & why, oh yeha her rocker daddy.... As for J.R, that old cunt face needs to retire already. Nathan Lane why be in this?!?

Submitted by Callie on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 10:47pm.

I kind of like the whimsy of this. But you know Burton would have cast Johnny Depp as Snow White.

Submitted by sonne on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 10:23pm.

She and Nathan Lane should exchange roles. He'd make a much better evil queen 'cause he can actually act! And I like him. :D

Submitted by Cara on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 9:23pm.

I can't think of one Julia Roberts movie I've actually enjoyed. Maybe Ocean's Eleven, but she had such a minor part you could pretty much ignore her.

Submitted by PTRemedie on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 9:17pm.

She looks good for a regular human being (those who work hard & drink harder), and okay for a "movie star". I don't watch ANY movie she is in: you can hear the fucking elocution lessons in her speech & it is distracting & annoying (& the ignorant scrap STILL doesn't sound right). To this day I still can't believe she wan (ala Michael K--typo, but it stays) an Oscar. I think it was THAT particular year that the shiny got rubbed off of the whole Oscar thing for me. That fucking laugh makes me want to knock her big fucking teeth down her Goddamned throat. I believe she is the reason I can't stomach a Southern accent anymore. Oh, and Kyra Sedgwick--she's got a piece of that shit-sandwich as well.

Submitted by Tatiana on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 9:00pm.

First Anne Hathaway's shitty Catwoman costume and now this. What the hell is wrong with the costume designers in Hollywood? This looks like something someone's mom would throw together for an 8th grade production of "Snow White" the day before the performance.

Although, from the thumbnail (can't get it to enlarge because my computer sucks) Charlize Theron's Evil Queen costume looks kinda cool. Much better than Julia's, anyways.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:40pm.

The fuck.

Didn't Hollywood learn anything from "Mary Riley"?

Ugh, put this bitch away already.

Submitted by from athens on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:10pm.

whatever charm this bitch had,she lost it

Submitted by Snow Owl on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:09pm.

I have a crush on Armie Hammer (love his name too) and I haven't seen any of the stuff he's been in.

The poster formerly known as NIGHTOWL

Submitted by deucenoir on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:03pm.

joan collins shoulda been cast as the evil queen.

just enough of a cunt, with that dash of campy glamour only she can pull off.

total miscasting with julia. doesn't fit the bill either physically or image-wise.
fail.

Submitted by Thamar on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:57pm.

Why can't these formerly beautiful and stunning women give it the hell up and get out from in front of a gd camera. Julia looks are over, we have seen enough of that face in any form.

Tho for Nathan Lane I might see this film.

"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA

Submitted by Chucks on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:57pm.

The 10th Kingdom did it better.

Submitted by the original be... on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:00pm.

Am I the only one disappointed by this? MK, from this title I was expecting some kind of fabulous Evil (drag) Queen bitch-slap or slap-down or something! Not even a Maddox or Zahara-level side eye...

My evening is incomplete...

Submitted by CarmenElectrical on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:56pm.

Can't get what anyone sees in this bitch.

Submitted by Gem on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:43pm.

I also loved the movie Steel Magnolias, and you're right, Julia played the part perfectly. Having said that, the only thing I can get with in her Snow White character is that Julia is EVIL, she just seems like a terrible person by all accounts, so in that sense, she is going to do a great job playing an evil queen!

Submitted by sushi on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:39pm.

So she'll play every role she's ever played with that cackle fucking laugh?

Submitted by dementa on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:36pm.

Submitted by CholaMom on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:01pm.

Yeah, she was an evil witch who temporarily de-ages herself in the movie "Stardust," which also has Robert DeNiro as a gay pirate on a flying ship. Not kidding.

And yes, Pfeiffer was awesome as always. And I admire her for being willing to play OLDER than she is, because most middle-aged actresses would rather die.

And the movie was very good too.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by dementa on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 7:32pm.

Well, it's a more plausible Evil Queen than Charlize Theron, who's easily one of the hottest actresses in Hwood. Certainly hotter than that shemale Kristen Stewart.

And even if the Lily Collins one sucks, I'll watch it just to spite the Stewart turdfest for insulting my intelligence. And, well, for casting someone I hate as the Evil Queen. I love seeing arrogant bitches playing hateable roles.

And hey, at least the Collins one has THE FUCKING DWARVES, instead of going, "We have smoldering hotties who will make the shrieking Twitards cream their panties!... oh, and we have those short guys too, but nobody cares about them."

It's gonna be campy as hell, but at least it won't be a grim pretentious borefest like the "Snow White and the Huntsman" movie.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by urmomma on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:59pm.

....did anyone watch S-t-e-e-l M-a-g-n-o-l-i-a-s?!!!!!! That is where my love is rooted. Not pretty woman. Liked it. BUT! She played a character soooo close to my heart in Steel Magnolias (my diabetic sister-in-law...may she rest in peace) that she is forever ingrained in my heart. The entire cast set that shit off, but she did such a fabulous job in that movie....*tears up* RIGHT???!!! Who is with me? Who is coming with me?! SHELBY WAS RIGHT! BROWN FOOTBALL HELMET! MAH COLORS ARE PINK AND BASHFUL!
*owns up to being such a fucking girl*
Crap.
It should be noted that I own Mystic Pizza, too.
Damn it. This does not help my cause does it?!

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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK

Submitted by BitchyD on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:51pm.

I have to admit that I'm totally in love with Julia's gown.

Submitted by CholaMom on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:31pm.

Now Michele Pfeiffer as Evil Queen? That I'd buy in a millisecond. Those high cheekbones could slice steel -- and given her performance in White Oleander, she's got the Ice Cold Bitch routine on the square.

-- but then again, maybe that's been done. Didn't she play something like an evil queen in some fantasy movie of the past couple of years?

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I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:30pm.

Submitted by tminuswife on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:06pm.
I don't know you julia roberts. You may be an amazing human being, but I can't stand you. I think you're overrated, under talented, you look like old maid, and you seem to be quite slutty. Good night.

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tminuswife, you are speaking my language. Come sit by me.

Submitted by agirl on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:24pm.

@Gigaboom, "droopy queen" made me LOL.

Consider it stolen.