What In Heroes In A Half Shell Hell?!
Since we're already on the subject of horror show torsos that can be the next Batman villain, here's Darryn Lyons (aka Mr. Paparazzi) from the UK's Celebrity Big Brother proudly flashing his bought-and-paid-for fake six-pack gut that looks exactly what Ryan Reynold's body would look like if he shoved a bike pump up his ass and pumped until he was about pop. I blame Matt Lucas for giving a bitch ideas.
Darryn bragged to his housemate, Paddy of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, that he got the dude equivalent of a boob job. More like the asshole equivalent of LeAnn Rimes' sternum tits. Darryn said that a plastic surgeon liposuctioned a bunch of chunk from his gut to bring out his ab muscles. Darryn went on to explain, "I had contouring done to my body. I had to get really fit and lose a fair bit of weight. It takes away all the fat around it and actually lets your natural abs be there. Basically it's the male version of a boob job."
I'm all for almost wet vacuuming up your internal organs for the sake of deformed vanity, but that bitch has to know this looks about as natural as one of those six-pack t-shirts. The abs part of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume wrapped in pastry dough would look better than this shit. Actually, this fool looks like he's wearing a turtle shell over his belly. It's like if King Koopa was in the middle of an exorcism skull spin and his head got stuck facing the wrong way. Darryn is giving us a glimpse of The Situation's midlife crisis and nobody asked for it.
That being said, I'd still hit it. WELL, while you're riding that shit you can play a half-court game of Tic-Tac-Toe on his hard gut. How can I turn down a half-court game of Tic-Tac-Toe?
via The Mirror
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Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 12:02am.
LOOOPPPYYYY!!!!!!
How are you babe? Haven't seen you in forever!
And, yeah, Geelong....
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 5:22pm.
LOL becky, that is soo mean ... but true! lol
Look at Portia Di Rossi Denegeres (Amanda Rogers), she was from Geelong.
Seriously that is just ewwwwww, i mean i dont mind guys who are abit tubby and althought i wouldnt want to hit it, you know if they are happy with it, kudos to them
But when you are bloated like a beached whale and have a fake six pack, thats just nasty.
That just looks like stupid. If he said that is the male equivalent of a "book job" than that is the male equivalent of a Tara Reid job.
seriously that lumpy dumpy should get off his fat fucking lazy ass and exercise abit, its not hard to walk on a treadmill or ride a bike.
Wierdo.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 2:14pm.
What is that? Did he swallow a sea turtle?
That is some good shit, cuppycake!!!
It looks like an "old-age mutant ninja turtle". that shit is nashty.
Human beings are so lazy and disgusting.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Here's a wild idea: Why didn't he skip the surgery and just try to keep his shirt on?
Okay, the thing about Big Bro is they try to spread that mess out over three long ass shows and who has the patience for that shit. Put solid, dramatic fuckery on blast in ONE HOUR. I HATE TV
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"You dumb bitch, I am home." -MK to Brooke's crybaby 'daddy-puts-the-lotion' ass
Darryn is an Aussie, originally from Geelong - which kinda explains everything. Sorry, Geelong.
His biggest pap scoop was the Jolie/Pitt outing; when he caught them walking on a beach together.
He made millions out of those pix.
Sent from my iPhone
Douche ninga turtle!
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Submitted by TriptheLight: "One of his housemates should draw nipples on each of those washboard lumps while he's asleep."
*dies laughing*
That is such an excellent idea.
In honor of the Little Britain reference:
Computer says NO!
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Watch it sucka!
At first I couldn't get past the mohawk and now I wish I hadn't. He makes Perez look hot by comparison and that's harder than finding a solution to world hunger.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
I've seen too many freaky anatomy up in here for one day. no more please lol
Coma Caca!
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That is some scary scary shit.
One of his housemates should draw nipples on each of those washboard lumps while he's asleep.
It looks like the surgeon lipo'd fat from his spare tire and injected it into that nasty grid pattern. That can't be his abs showing through. He's shaped like a damn barrel.
Gator needs his gat you punk-ass bitch!
Mommy issues!
He's not fooling anybody with that. What a douche.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by Jana on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 2:59pm.
so is this the UK version of Perez Hilton.
No one in the UK has ever heard of this six pack sack of shit, so I doubt he's the ~UK version~ of anything.
You can still see the hole where the docs sucked the fat out. In fact, I hope they left a valve in because he's gonna need it done again before very long.
It takes away all the fat around it and actually lets your natural abs be there. Basically it's the male version of a boob job."
1. The took ALL the fat around it away? Think they missed some.
2. Yes, because under your fat you had naturally defined rock hard abs - like all thin people do???
3. Um, there is no part of that description that equates with a boob job.
Someone please take all the fat from around his brain so his natural genius can show through, thanks.
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
is this dickwad auditioning for peta centerfold
what a fat fuck
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
so is this the UK version of Perez Hilton. I haven't read the entire post yet, but wondering.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
If that belly (there's no other word for it) ever headed in my direction I would laugh myself into a seizure. "Abs" ON TOP of fat? WTF?!? And the lame pink mohawk in like throwing gasoline on a burning building.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
I'm surprised MK hasn't yet mentioned the fact that Tara Reid has brought her own special brand of MESS to the UK Celebrity Big Brother house...
That's no six pack, it's a frickin keg.
lmfao @ "sea turtle"
It looks as if he fell asleep on a fence or something like that which left an imprint on his gut as a result. They definitely do not look like abs.
In Sammi "Sweetheart"'s voice:
"MK, Staaaaaaaahp!"
LMAO @ cuppy: Sea Turtle!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
imcuteifyouredrunk oh cool! thanks!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
snowpiece, you can watch it on http://realitytvfan.org/
thats where i get my aussie/nz reality fix. theyre so much friendlier! its embarrassing how horrible we are. however, due to this post, i think the brits are just as shitty, and that makes me feel a little better...
The Ex and Ewe: Have you two met?
Sent from my Dell PC.
He knows that, even with a magenta Thompson Twins cut and fake abs, he'll look fine with Tara Reid in the room.
Sent from my Dell PC.
What in Foghorn Leghorn fuckin' hell is that?
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Disgusting. Even Mariah Carey's spray painted abs looked better than that.
disgusting!
Vintage clothes 1920s-1980s http://vintageclothesretro.com
Does.Not.Compute.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Wait! Wait! This schmuck did what?
And he's STILL FAT!!!
It's like a fat guy who had abs drawn on him. WTF????
What the hell happened to England? It used to be so respectful and dignified.
Now they got this shit????
BLEECH!!!
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...........Turtles in a half shell. TURTLE POWER! ♪
This gross dude is still a fat fuck...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Disgusting. Look at his fucking belly button.
he is still FAT
like a fat chick showing off her breast to hide the fatness it aint working
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
HAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!! this picture made my day.. **i am crying laughing so hard**
What is that? Did he swallow a sea turtle?
I wish I could watch this show, seems soooo much better than our version! (and I'm for real)
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11