Gavin DeGraw Hospitalized After Getting His Ass Beat

August 9, 2011 / Posted by:

Gavin DeGraw seems pretty damn harmless. Gavin wrote that song “Chariot” and that one song that was in the opener for One Tree Hill for a while, and the top of his head has never felt outside oxygen since it’s always covered with a newsboy cap. Seriously, Gavin looks like a Newsies’ extra who never let go. The question “Who the hell would want to issue a ‘Whoop That Trick’ on Gavin DeGraw?” has never filled my head, but it is now after reading that he got the beat down in NYC early Monday morning.

The New York Post says that Gavin was walking through the East Village at around 4 in the morning when he was attacked by a group of newsboy cap haters who broke his nose and cut up his face. After the attack, Gavin stumbled for 13 blocks to 19th Street and 1st Avenue where he was clipped by a taxi. Gavin is now laid up at at Bellevue Hospital.

Something in the milk ain’t clean, because sources say Gavin was not robbed.

The world is going to shit. London is burning, hos are going crazy in the brains and our singer/songwriters can’t safely walk the streets of NYC at 4 in the morning (THINK OF THE SINGER/SONGWRITERS!!!). Let’s just fast forward to the near future where we’re all covered in dirt and have to fight each other for the last chicken head in the alley using shanks we made from fish bones.

I mean, Gavin DeGraw?! It’s not like he’s James Blunt. Or Nickelback.

And I bet that newsboy cap never once left Gavin’s head during that whole mess.

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