Hot Slut Of The Day!
Bongo, the Beanie Baby child of a Brooklyn couple who is now missing after they lost it in their neighborhood of Park Slope. They are offering a $500 reward for the safe return of Bongo. This is the closest you will ever get to seeing Jennifer Aniston on a very special episode of Strange Addiction.
47-year-old Bonni Marcus and 58-year-old Jack Zinzi just sat down to have dinner at a restaurant on Sunday night when they realized that their sand-stuffed baby was not in her pocket. Tears fell, the sky dropped, the earth spun and Bonni channeled Michelle Pfeiffer in Deep End of the Ocean and started screaming for Bongo. They checked every inch of the car thinking they left him there, but Bongo was gone. Bonni thinks she accidentally dropped him from walking to the car to the restaurant and believes that somebody picked him up off the sidewalk to raise him as their own. Jack told The Brooklyn Paper, “Somebody must have come along and thought he was as cute as I know he is.”
Bonni and Jack are strictly friends, but they have considered themselves Bongo's parents ever since Jack bought him ten years ago. They taped MISSING MONKEY BABY fliers all over the area where they lost Bongo and are praying to the Beanie Baby gods that he returns soon.
These two crazies can buy a Beanie Babies monkey on eBay for the price it cost to print out all those fliers at Kinko's, but they say Bongo is a part of their family and can't be replaced. They take him everywhere and talk to him.
Okay, who keeps their beloved baby in their pocket? Why wasn't he in a stroller or a Beanie Baby Bjorn? BBPS (Beanie Baby Protective Services) needs to investigate that.
I was going to make the suggestion that we should all go in together on buying a Bongo imposter and trick Bonni and Jack into giving us the $500 reward, but they won't fall for it. The Beanie Baby monkey we give them won't have a kilo of coke in its belly like Bongo does. Seriously, the bad shit has to be involved in this story some way or another. Or maybe this is just another one of James Franco's art theses.
via Fark (Thanks Blaine)
• 
We had that very beanie baby years ago. Our dog got a hold of it one day and chewed a hole in him and all the stuffing came out his butt. My boy was probably just as upset as Bonni and Jack. Then again, he was THREE.
1) If it was that important to them, how did they drop it in a parking lot and not notice?
2) How will they know it is THEIR original Bongo when it is returned?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Missing monkey toy?
*side eyes loopygorilla*
I have one in a storage bag they can have for 10 bucks.
*puts Garbage Pail Kid collection on Ebay*
LMAO @ Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:59am.
"I would have thought she would have gone ape-shit by now."
*dies*
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:03am.
I find it disturbing that a grown ass couple carries around a stuffed monkey.
~~~~~
My Thoughts exactly!!! Who has time for this knavery!!
This reminds me of this kid in my 4th grade class who lost a nickel one day and wouldn't leave the classroom until he found it.
So the entire class (and parents, because it was arts and crafts day) and looking for the fucking nickel thinking it's some ancient shit - no, it's just a basic ass nickle from the 90's.
I couldn't deal with him for the rest of the year. And the fact that my mother handed him a nickel from her purse and he refused because 'it wasn't his nickel' made me hang my head in shame.
busy bee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_KrSWI8F2E
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
this happened in England about 2 or 3 months ago. I think this is some copycat famewhoring.
Yeah, I knew that they USED to be worth money, but I doubt anyone is paying over ten bucks for one now. Thanks, lil ras.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:24am.
Haha! Yes, I LOVE GG!
**************************************************************
You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Remember when Stan Zbornack carried around a monkey to wean from Dorothy and Sophia?
See? Perfectly normal!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Happy Birthday.........wait.....am I in the right thread?
I rented a room once from a woman who collected beanie babies. The wall her bed was on had shelving filled with them in plastic display cases. She would talk about them. Collect them. Trade them. It was sad as fuck.
**************************************
Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Kudos to those who staged this intervention.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:48am.
my mom has a SHITLOAD of em... she's actually sold some that were worth over $1,000... I don't think there's a market for that shit now, though. If there is, that is sad.
_____________________________________________
"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
@ Stoney
I just checked ebay for Beanie Baby Bongo and hundreds came up, most "in mint condition with tags attached" :
http://shop.ebay.com/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313&_nkw=bean...
Amazon.com also sells them for around $9.00.
Message, you think some beanies are actually worth something? Which ones? Would you sell them on ebay?
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I find it disturbing that a grown ass couple carries around a stuffed monkey.
*gasp!* It's a vast kidnapping ring - where has Sock Monkey been, btw? *feeling alarmed*
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
As useless as a saggy pair of tits
How much is Bongo the Beanie Baby worth? I know I have a few of them that are worth serious bank but I think Bongo is one of the "common" ones (don't ask me why I know this shit). My first ever Beanie Baby was Dotty the Dalmatian and I have at least 100 of those BBs!
Flashback to the mid-90s!!
-----------------------------------------------
The proper pronunciation is 'bitch, please'. - Jana
These have to be Hipsters. Only they are that dense. I remember when Brooklyn used to be edgy and gritty. The Hipsters came in and turned almost every decent Brooklyn 'hood into an American Apparel ad and raised the rents to ridiculous levels. Death to Hipster scum!!!!
My daughter has the same toy in her closet. I'm gonna find it and run it through a gutter a few times, call fucktards and collect my $$$$.
I had that exact same monkey when I was 12. Weird. If I still had the damn thing, I could have called them and said he hitch hiked over to the West coast. They seem crazy enough to buy it. I need the money too.
____________________________________________
5 year lurker
I've seen him visiting every Goodwill, Salvation Army and yard sale from here to Maine.
______________________________________________
Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
______________________________________________
we called the #
told em bongo kidnapped for medical experiments
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Also, who poses and photographs a Beanie Baby? And who the fuck still collects Beanie Babies?
Bonni and Jack....really Jacko!?!?!
****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
This is just stupid. Privately feeling devastated is one thing but to advertise is just pathetic.
Bongo hitched a ride in the nearest tote bag to get away from these obsessive creepy freaks.
The people who got him should take his picture in front of random foreign landmarks and taunt these people with it.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
damn that resturant they go to is making me hungry!
mofongo MMMMMMm!
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
lol Capri!
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
Bet you Bongo escaped; wasn't left behind. Bongo's slutting it up as we speak. Little whore. You can see it in its eyes. =P
_____
"People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch."
~Jack Nicholson
Amy Winehouse "Will You Still Love Me?" (RIP)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
BONGO is their lil coke mule. stuffed with $$$$$$$ in product.
GUARANTEED.
Ok you guys need to keep us updated about your crank calling these people lol.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I hope whoever took it holds out for all the money in their bank account. Fucking idiots.
Submitted by Chirio on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 8:10am.
LOL Help me!!!!
_________
lmao Surprised she didn't call for an all-out amber alert, talking in the 1st person and shit. Bet she has 8 cats and a boyfriend pillow.
_____
"People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch."
~Jack Nicholson
Amy Winehouse "Will You Still Love Me?" (RIP)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
nothing wrong with Brooklyn, there are crazies every where in the world, well raising a stuff monkey together is harmless I guess. Loosing a stuffed monkey and rewarding $500 for the finder fees?
maybe I should raise stuffed monkeys so I can have money to give away.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Cutest damn beanie EVER. Want one.
_____
"People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch."
~Jack Nicholson
Amy Winehouse "Will You Still Love Me?" (RIP)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
I'm sure we have several of these monkeys packed away in the giant plastic bins full of beanie babies left over from my mom and my sister's full out beanie baby obsession in the mid-nineties. I so WISH I could sell them, but they're pretty much worthless.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Poor Bongo's fallen on hard times, since he never had an address stuffed in his little pockets he's had to rely on his own street smarts. Unfortunately his parents had too many other stuffed animal kids and couldn't teach him all the things he needed to know to keep out of trouble and Bongo's been forced to peddle his furry ass and give BJs for banana skins
Perhaps if Bongo's parents would have been married, this would not have happened.
LOL Help me!!!!
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
HOLY SH*T! Easy $500 for me! I have that monkey on my shelf here! (Don't judge me!)
I am going to buy a fake Bongo, cut off one of its ears and mail that back to them.
The person who drop kicked and neglected to pick up that monkey when it was in it's path is kicking their own azz right about now. $500 for a stuffed animal - what an easy pay day!
yet another reason to steer clear of Brooklyn...
Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:52am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:45am.
You're supposed to take pictures of your kids????
----------------------
Only the ones worth $500 or more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tee Hee!
This story is just bananas! (thanks Gwen Stefani for teaching me how to spell.)
*************************************
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by Jana on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:56am.
OK, crank calls starting in 3..2..1...if I were still in my teens I'd be up to it.
------------------------------
I've already started calling...
_____________________________________________
"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:51am.
I just called the number and Bonni answered. She sounded a little cranky.
*******************************
I would have thought she would have gone ape-shit by now.
*************************************
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:41am.
Bongo ran away.
===============================================
Maybe Bongo joined the circus. I think I saw him doing a highwire act at the Poughkeepsie fair!