After Stevie Wonder, Michelle Obama, Barbra Streisand, Basement Baby, Tina Knowles and Babyface slathered words of praise all over Beyonce’s House of Derriere, she gave the greatest performance of the worst song of the night at the Billboard Music Awards. Of course, I chose yesterday of all days to detox from the good shit, the sweet nectar, corn syrup and fried lard. This was a bad decision overall, but it was really a bad decision to choose yesterday as my straight edge day. Because Beyonce’s performance would’ve tripped me into a basement of balls if I was high on deep fried weed buds and lard margaritas.
Now, I don’t think Beyonce should run the world, but she should definitely run every PowerPoint presentation. And she should also run my screensaver library, because mine is total shit compared to hers.