Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 16, 2011 / Posted by:

22-year-old Miss Arkansas Alyse Eady who smashed the rhinestone crown into a million pieces at the Miss America pageant (aka The Young Girls Made Up To Look Like 45-Year-Old HSN Hosts Show) last night with her yodeling ventriloquist act! Repeat: Miss Arkansas made two blocks of wood yodel WHILE WEARING a glamorous red jumpsuit straight out of Sammy Jo Carrington’s suitcase. That makes Miss Arkansas thee most talented and skilled individual in this country. And yet she still lost the crown to 17-year-old Miss Nebraska!!! The judges must’ve been on the wrong kind of high from inhaling all that hairspray and lash glue, because I don’t know how this happened. I mean, Miss Nebraska should’ve been disqualified for those black roots! This shit ain’t right. The judges are obviously prejudiced against yodeling wood (I just got a tingle).

What more did they want from Miss Arkansas? Do they want her to clog dance while close-mouth yodeling and fisting two friends? Because the hot bitch can do that too:

If my TV got stuck and only played this on a loop, I wouldn’t even lift my hand up to call the cable company to fix it. The Miss America judges wouldn’t know talent if it shoved its hand up their asses and made it yodel. But Miss Arkansas will forever be the MISS EVERYTHING in our hearts!

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