The Millionth Return Of Wino!

January 9, 2011 / Posted by:

A strange thing happened in Florianópolis, Brazil last night. Amy Winehouse took to the stage and didn’t do anything of the following things during her set:

– Bit the face cheek off of an audience member and fed it to her nipple hole.

– Sent a baby rat with a black ball of yarn on its head and two walnuts glued to its chest to perform in her place.

– Chased an imaginary Smurf around the stage for an hour straight.

– Spewed millions of leeches into the audience forcing the police to quarantine its citizens and shut down the city.

None of those things happened at all! Yes, she temporarily got confused about the difference between a microphone and a water bottle (see above) so she sang into both of ’em, but that was the only hitch. By the way, that looks like the most disappointing oral swordfight ever.

The Daily Mail says that Wino spilled out all of her greatest hits (just like how her tits spilled out of her dress) and the audience snorted that shit up. And not one human person turned into a crack-devouring zombie. Triumph! Click here to see a few clips of Wino’s performance last night.

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