Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 23, 2010 / Posted by:

The Sony Walkman – I have really really bad news for you. I know you were up really late last night making the perfect weekend mix-tape to play for your best friend today. You sat by the radio and waited until they played your favorite songs and then you hit record really fast after the DJ finished talking. I know, it’s gross when the stupid fucking DJ keeps spitting out his verbal masturbation even after the song starts. Like doesn’t the dumb ass know you’re trying to make the perfect mix-tape! And since you didn’t have any blank tapes, you had to put Scotch tape over the hole on one of your old cassettes. Your ass even made a cover using a glitter pen and magazine pictures.

Well, I know you were going to go to KMart today to buy a Walkman for your friend to listen to your amazing mix-tape on and really get intimate with the music, but sadly you’re going to have to get a regular old Boom Box instead, because Sony birthed out their last Walkman in April. They’re closing their legs and they won’t push out anymore. The Walkman is now an artifact. It’s the end of a seriously ANNOYING era, because my Walkman would eat the shit out of batteries and the play button would always pop up for no reason! But it’s still sad days. Put a black veil over your screen, iPod, and mourn the loss of the bitch who paved the way for you.

And for those of you young whores out there who are like, “What iz Walkman?“, shut the fuck up, write your name on the nursing home visiting sheet and bring me my butterscotch pudding and the mix-tape my friend made for me.

via Switched

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