Tila Tequila Almost Died At The Gathering Of The Juggalos

When I first heard that Tila Tequila was going to perform at the Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois, I figured shit would get beyond real. Well, shit not only got beyond real, but shit got all over Tila Tequila. Literally. Tila Tequila tells TMZ that right went her toe hit the stage, the Juggalos allegedly* started a revolt against her by stoning her ass and launching a tidal wave of piss-marinated caca at her face.

Tila, who sent pictures of her injuries (see the pictures here) to TMZ, claims that the Juggalos wanted her DEAD!

Here’s Tila’s account of the Battle at Faygo:

“I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the shit out of the port-0-potty and threw shit and piss at me when I was onstage.”

These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!”

The police showed up, but they wouldn’t comment on what exactly went down due to HIPPA laws.

Whoever thought Tila Tequila performing for thousands of Insane Clown Posse fans was a good idea needs to ask their dealer to change their crack prescription, because they are obviously smoking the wrong shit! Tila bringing her ho show to the Gathering of the Juggalos makes about as much sense as Mel Gibson performing at a Yiddish theater. It was obviously a trap!

Although, the Juggalos do love magic all up in this bitch, so you would think they would be enchanted by Tila since she’s half leprechaun and all. And where was her Tila Army when she really really needed them the most?! That’s a rhetorical question.

* I say allegedly because Tila Tequila makes shit up all the time.