Vintage (Sort Of) John Mayer

August 27, 2009 / Posted by:

Early this morning on Twitter, John Mayer challenged Harvey Levin and TMZ to track down his mug shot from when he was arrested for driving with a suspended license in Georgia in 2001. John offered up $25,000 to TMZ’s charity of choice if they could deliver it on a platter.

The Smoking Gun also heard John’s call for attention and posted the goods a few minutes before TMZ did. Now they are both scratching and shaking at each other over John’s $25k reward. Oh, John, just don’t bleach your asshole for one whole month and give them both the money.

Even in his mug shot (which looks like the before picture in a Proactiv commercial), John Mayer has to try to finger bang a bitch with his eyes.

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48 responses to “Vintage (Sort Of) John Mayer”

  1. Miss Priss says:

    It’s amazing what tons of money do to people.
    If Johnny here still looked like this, he might still be a virgin…just sayin’

    ◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘

    ♪I don’t care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
    ~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
    “I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously”-Hunter S. Thompson

  2. ImpertinentVixen says:

    Prisoner Douchey de la Douche.

    ♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
    Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful — Seneca

  3. Stoney says:

    He looks like the perverted dork in high school no one would talk to.

    _____________________________________________
    “Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney.”

  4. person_of_interest says:

    Good “challenge” douche. Why do I feel like he’s about three minutes away from dropping trou and running down the street “LOOK AT ME!!! LOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!” And then he’ll tweet about it.

    *-*-*-*-*
    “Oh hellllll yes! I just bought a ticket on the RobPatt crazy train!!! Chooo-Fuckin-Chooo!!!”—Clarisse

    “Eyebrows, you in danger girl!”

  5. jussayin says:

    I’m sure it wasn’t hard to find. All they had to do was google “Massengill John Mayer” and voila! Douche pics galore!!

    ***********************************************
    We can do it, it’s all up to us mmmkay
    With a little plan we can change our lives today

  6. Tristram says:

    Too bad the GA cops dint administer a good ol’ Southern beat-down when he “resisted arrest” back then.

  7. squiggles says:

    Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/27/2009 – 4:34pm.

    He looks like the perverted dork in high school no one would talk to.

    *****

    YESSS!!!!! Awesome. He was probably one of those “secret” perverted dorks. The kind where you hear something and go, “Ew! omg, HIM?”

  8. looktoyourright says:

    He strikes me as the kind of guy who would start up a conversation with you in a bar that goes as such:
    “Hey.”
    “Hi.”
    “So…. I hear that John Mayer guy is really something.”
    “Not a fan.”
    “YEAH? YEAH? WELL FUCK YOU, BITCH! I FUCKED JENNIFER ANISTON! I FUCKED HER LIKE SHE WAS YOUR MOM! Bitch.”
    “….go away now.”
    “Please tell me I’m important.”

  9. kanderso says:

    Ew, bad skin. And I hate that smile/smirk he has. His smilk.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    “Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?” – Michael Douglas

  10. Sayonara says:

    Bad Skin… And bad hair. That is not a good combination.

    I got a love jones for your body & your skin tone…

  11. person_of_interest says:

    Kudos ImpertinentVixen and looktoyourright. You guys are cracking me up.

    “….go away now.”
    “Please tell me I’m important.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    *-*-*-*-*
    “Oh hellllll yes! I just bought a ticket on the RobPatt crazy train!!! Chooo-Fuckin-Chooo!!!”—Clarisse

    “Eyebrows, you in danger girl!”

  12. freebird says:

    Waaaa. Harvey’s not accepting payment in blowjobs anymore. I’ve already kissed Perez Hilton once, do I hafta go there again? I’ve tried to get in on the whole Cougar craze and doesn’t anyone remember my Michael Jackson dancing covered in lipstick kisses? What’s a douche to do? I know! I’ll issue a challenge to find my old DUI picture that I gave Harvey at a party back in 2003. My music doesn’t seem to be able to carry me, so this will be just what I need. Time to masterbate to my DUI picture again! I look great in zits.

  13. chica robotica says:

    Talk about blatantly buying the press’ attention for a few seconds. And talk about ego. I’m sure they would’ve done it for less than $25,000. Just say the word charity and any one of these organizations would. Why not? And John Mayer should’ve named the charity if he wanted to look like he really cared. TMZ or the smoking gun. They wouldn’t reject a nameless charity, much less one that was singled out.

  14. Ninne says:

    He sucks anyway. Cry for attention indeed!! BARF

  15. Momus the Sarcastic says:

    Mayer did not challenge The Smoking Gun; therefore, TSG should not get any $$$ from him.

    ************************************************
    “Oderint dum metuant.” Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
    ************************************************

  16. Beth4 says:

    I loathe this douche. He’s no different from all the other attention whore celebrities. Put them all on the short bus to hell now.

  17. Katt says:

    Umm, why is he yellow?
    **********
    “And my heart it is still beating, but it’s fight or flight, the exit from loneliness is not necesarrily the entrance into paradise.”

  18. Zonko says:

    Hey Sayonara,

    you left out BAD GUITAR PLAYING.

  19. Molotov Cocktease says:

    I hate you, John.

    *********
    Uh oh, Heaven is starting to take out Soccer Moms. – BRADIFUL BITCH 8/13/09

  20. Few Words says:

    High school nickname “Master Bates”

  21. RubyGlare says:

    wth? does he even have an album or single out? He certainly knows how to manipulate the ‘new media’; problem is I’m too lazy to check & see if he’s got new music.

    intellectually driven passion, passionately driven intellect

  22. JJ_pryor says:

    Thanx MK, I love playing connect-the-dots!

  23. Tigerlilly says:

    Aw, wook at da KING GOD DOUCHEMEISTER OF ALL DOUCHES when he wuz just a wittle douche nozzle…CUTE! Not.

    **********************************
    Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now…

  24. DiamondDawg says:

    Ok. WHAT A STUPID MFING DOUCHEBAG IDIOT THIS ONE IS!!!

    His lawyer prolly f’d up and didn’t do all the things you’re supposed to do to seal a case. HA HA. EAT SHIT KING DOUCHE!

  25. DiamondDawg says:

    Submitted by Beth4 on Thu, 08/27/2009 – 5:25pm.
    I loathe this douche. He’s no different from all the other attention whore celebrities. Put them all on the short bus to hell now
    ———-

    He probably has herpes, too!

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