The Photoshop Awards: Katie Holmes On Glamour

Stepford Katie’s inner Thetans are glowing through her eyes on the cover of Glamour. Seriously, who do think they are fooling with his Photoshop fuckery?! Does Photoshop have a “life sucking” tool on it, because if it does, this cover needs more of it. You can’t make eyes look less brainwash-ey just by changing the color. The L. Ron Hubbard is still shining through loud and fucking clear.

In the magazine, Stepford Katie brings the bores, but did pull a Chrissy Crocker and told everyone to LEAAAAAVE SURI ALOOOONE. When asked about all the rumors about Suri, she said, “Some of the stuff people said was such absolutely horrible things to say about a child. It was so uncalled for and so disgusting. Enough is enough. We were changing diapers. He (Tommy Girl) said, ‘I don’t want you to get upset.’ And I said, ‘Well, I am upset.'”

Well, I got the answer to the question “How many crazy alien robots does it take to change a diaper?” TWO! And Katie was so upset that she dressed Suri up in a little dress and then paraded her down the street like she was in a damn Little Miss Pageant.

And here’s some pictures Katie wearing a necklace made out of Tommy’s hairy ass dingles while out to dinner the other night. This haggard hag really looks like she “loves her life.”