Chris Brown Is In Anger Management

When celebwhores get a DUI, the natural thing to do is to send them to the tank for a few months, so they at least look like they’re trying. So it makes sense that when a dude delivers a massive beat down on a ho, you send him to anger management! That’s what Chris Brown’s crisis management team has done.

The NYDN says his pr whores think the mob of Brown haters might calm down a bit if Chris finishes an anger management. The smack up heard around the planet has fucked with Chris’ money, so he’s trying to look better to the public. Chris’ first class was on Monday in Glendale, CA and he reportedly wants to get in a few more before his March 5th court date.

Friends of Chris chirped in that he’s not the only one who needs to hug a puppy and kiss a rainbow. They say RiRi also gets the fire in her from time to time. They said, “It didn’t help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked.”

You know, we’ve all been in flaming arguments with bitches we’re sucking on. One time, I even threw a boyfriend’s cell phone into the gutter and that shit broke. Surprisingly, he didn’t put two swollen horns on my forehead with his fists. Imagine that! And even when I told him that I gave one of his friends a handjob at Six Flags the week before, he didn’t choke the fuck out of me. Restraint: It exists!

Chris and RiRi also made the cover of three tabs this week! Star Magazine says RiRi might be knocked up. The National Enquirer says she is! Life & Style says it was self-defense. And I say BLAH!