The SeX Files

August 28, 2008 / Posted by:

David Duchovny has checked into rehab because he loves to do ze sexy times way too much. Like WAY too much. Like he’s addicted to fucking. I guess that’s a bad thing? David issued this statement to People:

I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

48-year-old David has been married to Tea Leoni for over 10 years. They have two kiddies together. David currently plays a shameless man whore on the show “Californication.” Maybe this shit is research?

The first thing I thought when I read this was, “I‘ll be your enabler. Use your addiction on me! My no-no hole can take it. It’s made of iron. You’re Wino and I’m your crack pipe. Now smooooke me.

Then I thought that some scandalous shit must be on its way. I mean, when a celebrity bitch gets a DUI, they automatically check into rehab. David must have been caught with his chonies down. I just hope that shit was caught on high-definition!

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