The crack Gods have answered my prayers! Dreamboat Doherty will be released from the chokey on Tuesday! Crack Tuesday!
Crackheads and dealers everywhere are rejoicing! Dreamboat was sentenced to 14-weeks in prison, but he will be set free after just 29 days even though he smoked heroin while in there. Well, he’s Dreamboat Doherty! The rules don’t apply to him.
The Sun reports that Dreamboat is already planning a massive party. That just means he’s going to get really fucked up. A source said, “He’s planning to go straight to play a gig — and then get smashed. He wants no business appointments for three days — so he can really go for it.”
Dreamboat was originally sentenced to 14-weeks for not taking drug tests during his suspended sentence for heroin possession. His sentenced was halved and 18 days were deducted due to overcrowding. He was also given 2 days off because of time in police custody.
I’m going to make an advent calendar using rolling papers and cardboard from a homeless crackhead’s house. Each day, I will rip off a paper and smoke it up in his honor! Hooray!