Category: You’re Fired!
Matt Lauer Has Been Sending Unsolicited Show Notes To “Today”
In my experience, when one is shitcanned from their job, they get shut the fuck down immediately. They take over your email account and change all the passwords, they make you turn in your keys, you clean out your desk, get escorted out of the building, nobody makes eye contact with you when you “pop in” to say hi and then you get served a restraining order while you’re in your jammies. Not so for Matt Lauer!
White House Aide Omarosa Manigault Has Left The Building
Omarosa Manigault, Donald Trump’s second best black friend, has resigned from her duties as, well, nobody’s really sure what her job was. Let’s just go with Director of Communications for the White House Public Liaison Office because that’s what Buzzfeed says her official title was. Omarosa was escorted out of the White House and my girl, WH correspondent April Ryan, says there was “drama”. Well of course there was drama! It was probably right there written on the nameplate that read “Omarosa ‘Drama’ Manigault” that was sticking out of the cardboard box she carried on her way out along with a dusty koosh ball, a dead ficus and a mug that reads “#2 Best Black Friend”.
*Fun Fact: Ben Carson has a #1 Best Black Friend foam finger