Category: True Inspiration
Ke$hit Has Some Words Of Advice for Teen Mom Jenelle Evans
On last week’s episode of the #1 facepalm-inducing show on basic cable Teen Mom 2, Jenelle Evans became an instant role model (again) to dumb bitches everywhere when she told her lawyer that she couldn’t start serving her jail sentence on a certain day, because she didn’t want to miss the most important event in her life: Ke$ha’s concert. Well, Jenelle’s personal messiah Ke$ha has responded to one of her devoted followers risking being put on probation for another year to watch a trash heap refugee pussy pop for 2 hours. via HuffPo:
Have you seen this episode of “Teen Mom,” where a woman who’s due in jail begs her lawyer to keep her out until she can attend one of your shows? What’s your reaction to that?
She is the reason I do what I do. Go grrrl don’t let the man hold you down! We R Who We R!!!!
Now Jenelle knows how one of Je$us’ disciples felt when he spoke to them personally.
Ke$hit is right, though. Jenelle is fighting the man and she’s this generation’s answer to Martin Luther King Jr. I can’t wait to hear her very own “I had a dream…or maybe it was a shroom hallucination” speech. Jenelle’s new husband is lucky to be married to such an important activist. Marrying Jenelle is the best decision he’s ever made…next to getting her full name tattooed above his nipple, of course.
Florida Won’t Let Christian Slater Be Great
It took Christian Slater 4 hours of waiting to vote on Election Day, but he voted in Miami. Christian gave himself a pat on the taint for being a responsible American and all that. But then a few weeks later, The Miami-Dade County canvassing board let a bitch know that masturbating with a banana peel for 4 hours would’ve been a better use of his time than standing in the voting line for 4 hours, because his vote didn’t count. Christian’s signature didn’t match the signature they have on file, so they put an X over his votes. Yes, they did Christian Slater like that.
Christian tweeted a picture of the letter today. And here’s the tweets about his Voting Day Drama on November 6th:
Every vote count…except for Christian Slater’s. I know, I know, this is BREAKING NEWS and yet another nugget for our overflowing “Florida” file. But I brought it up, because I really feel that from now on we should refer to Christian Slater as “Christina D. Slater.” It has a much better ring to it. Saying “Christina D. Slater” makes me lift my shoulders while winking.